today, some snapshots that make me happy...

a cool building in boston.

nose in a book... me often.

rainy city.

snoopy on the side of mt. princeton, my current backyard view.

(can you spot him?)

me with my friend mindy on an arkansas leader retreat years ago.

claire modeling her tailor-made mickey ears.

david gray show from the 4th row.  best ever.

claire and dev icing their sore elbows.  

(for some reason, this always makes me laugh...

every day they had to ice after a game, I just kept asking them what their question was and if they would go ahead and ask it.  

oh, I crack myself up.)

asher johnston.  

oh. my. adorable.

vineyards in northern france on a trip to see my friend suz.

the nieces.  pure joy.

micaela making me and claire laugh.

alexis and dev being incredibly humble.

one of my all time faves, courtney.

a pub in nyc. 

(photo captured by my friend, c.j.)

happy last week of april.

cheers,

kb.

grip.
loosen your grip.
I feel like this message keeps swirling about in my head, heart, and well... face in recent weeks.
my friend, michael, with whom I work, talks often about how he believes we are meant to have the goal of "replacing ourselves".  we ought to be training others and setting up systems that could enable our jobs to be done well regardless of whether we are present.
I like this idea.
I see the benefits.
I also see the challenges.
lately, the challenges have been much more in my view (or in my face).  with change running rampant in our midst at work, I seem to be led back often to a place of unclenching my fingers and taking a deep breath.  we are people of routine in my place of work.  we do not change our core schedules often, if ever.
I, of course, for those of you who know me well, find comfort in predictability, as those things I can expect help me have space to be ready to flex with the inevitable and vast chaos that is well...life and people.  so, when the foreseen moves to the side of the "I'm not sure" column, my passionate side emerges all the more, and I try to bulk up the "I can count on this" side of the notebook paper.
I realize in my brain that these attempts to control are futile, of course.
but at these waffling times, my inner 6 year old decides to take the reigns.

eventually, I return to my adult self, and I process the whole list of "I know this" and "I have no idea" in all its crumply, torn college-ruled state and remember that this lesson I have learned time and time again (both foreign and domestic, actually)...
breathe and anchor to what you know.
you have a choice.
always.
choose to sit and spin (throw a childlike fit) wondering "maybe" and "what if"
or
anchor to the things you do know and make progress in those areas.
choose to places that will provide opportunities for victory or choose to feel repeatedly defeated.
I remember that I am not the center of things, nor do I want to be.
so, set others up well, and get out of the way.

so after a time of inner fit throwing, I have moved to the place of loosening my grip.  it is amazing how every time I even let go of one finger hold, the Lord shows up to help me breathe a bit easier.
it is exercise to relax.
at least it is for me, at times.
and I wonder why He called me to live in a sleepy mountain time for awhile.  haha!
silly kiddo am I.
I was telling a friend today how I feel like two thousand and twelve has so far been a year of the Lord sweetly patting my head while chuckling easily, saying "oh, kymmy.  my sweet kiddo..."
(all my family and many of my close friends call me kymmy.)
He is not laughing at me.  he is lovingly putting his arm around me, pulling me in close, and in just those few words and slight chuckle expressing how in control He is of things in my life, and how much He longs to surprise me with "more than I can ask or imagine".
it makes me smile, shake my head, and return the chuckle.  "I know", I reply.  "thank you."

hope your weekend is lovely!
cheers,
kb.
(the picture?  a favourite spot at the place where I get to work.  eager for this stream to begin to flow soon as the weather begins to warm.)

a mews.
when I lived in england, I loved wandering about and dreaming of living one day on a mews.  centuries ago, these cobble-stoned streets which are now filled with cottages and flats, were service streets on the backside of people's homes for entry into their stables.  their horses had residence here alongside their carriages which were, of course, their form of transport.
it has already been repeatedly established in earlier musings, that I have a deep affection for cobble-stoned pathways and streets.  so, it can not be a surprise that I hold this longing to live on a cozy mews someday.
as I looked up the proper history of the mews, I found myself smiling at a memory from when I was younger...
my aunt and uncle have lived in the dallas area for the whole of my life.  when I was growing up, most of our vacations were spent in their company in what I believed to be the "big city".  I remember telling my mom and dad over and over that when I grew up I would live in dallas.  vivid memories dance in my head of trips to the west end to see fudge being made before my eyes, loads of buildings filled with character, and more people than I was accustomed to hustling to and fro.  I was drawn in by all the things to see and absorb in such a place.   my aunt charlotte and uncle jeff, who played host to us and called home this fantastical world of which I am speaking, also always had food in their fridge I had seen in no other house.  they had stories of travel and adventures in places I had never imagined getting to visit.
their house was a fabulous, safe window into the world beyond.  I always felt at home, and being with them is still one of my absolute dearest and most favoured settings.

my aunt and uncle met while they were both spending time overseas.  my aunt charlotte was doing mission work with the journeyman program, and my uncle jeff was in the military.  

is life not so interesting?  as a kid in my adventures to the exotic city of dallas (ha!), had I any idea that I would be travelling to spots beyond my own country?  that I would have the opportunity to taste some of those "different" foods from their fridge in the countries from whence they came?  that for a few days I would wander around the south of france with this aunt (along with another of my aunts and my mom) eating french bread, olives, and cheese taking in the quaint scenery where she and my uncle jeff once lived?
no way.  no way I could have known.

why did I start this story about my aunt and uncle in the metropolis of dallas, tx, and how does it have a thing to do with the mews with which I am so enraptured?
oh, yes.  I have it.
another of the novelties of life in a city such as dallas that for some reason I noticed and questioned my dad incessantly about was that of the secret network of alleyways that wound in and amidst the backside of houses in my aunt and uncle's neighbourhood.  I loved how they seemed like secret passages to places unknown.  
when I think back now, I chuckle at my childlike wonder at something so ordinary that literally only allowed people to get to their garages and put their rubbish out on the curb where it did not have to sit on the front path as an eyesore for all to see.
yet again, could I have predicted that one day I would be able to connect childlike fascination of alleyways and deep devotion of mews?  nope.

as I think of dozens and dozens of mews that are hidden amidst the main streets I frequented in my home city abroad, I do see them as lovely hidden pathways that add to the cozy factor and quaint history of the city.  a city can so often be thought of as a concrete jungle filled with impersonal high-storied structures full of anonymity and coldness.  and, yes, that is certainly a piece of the structure of any urban area.
however, if you look closely enough, oftentimes in the cities I have grown to love, you can find a bit of cozy amidst all the concrete.  I believe this is one of the reasons I absolutely adore a city such as london or a new fave, boston.  we visited charleston, s.c. this past autumn, and it held much of this intersection, as well.  old and new combine to allow for character and convenience.
ahhh...lovely.  thanks to the designers of historical cities for retaining the old while advancing toward the new.  aesthetic is important to this girl to engage the heart in the midst of such practicality and systematic leanings of the head.  surroundings definitely have an effect.

as the days pass, I continue to be blessed, humbled, comforted, and touched by how we do not become entirely different people in our affections, preferences, and tendencies.  I feel like we simply (and profoundly) have those desires and likings fanned, expanded, and revealed.
for me, it brings to life Scriptures that speak of each of us being knit together and being known down to each hair on our heads.  (psalm 139.13; matthew 10.30)  we were created on and with purpose.
how personal is our God.  
beautiful.

sadly, I could not find a brilliant photo of this favourite mews of mine called elgin mews south, but I wanted to show you at least a glimpse of a secret alley pathway I walked past so often in london.
this mews sits very near maida vale tube station on randolph road, just around the corner from where my dear friend, claire, lived.  (if you remember, I lived for a bit with claire's family.)
ok, enough reminiscing and daydreaming for now.

I hope your current aesthetic provides an environment of cozy character this week.
cheers,
kb.

what I love about this photo? 
mugs which can hold coffee or tea. 
stacks of books that have or have not been read, as I have many a stack such as this around my abode.  these particular mugs have been doodled upon with a porcelain pen that I am now in a quest for purchasing. 
I have little artistic ability in the way of drawing.  my brother is naturally gifted in this area and well...in many others. as I like to create with words, I have often desired to add some visuals alongside.
I can doodle, though.
also I have a bit of a mug addiction.  (I think I get it from my mom.)
some days when I need something new and am trying not to spend dosh, I pop down to our local thrift store and buy a "new" mug for 50 cents.  delight. 
so, this kind of art above makes me happy as it personalizes these coffee containers and is abstract.
I got a postcard in the mail from my friend, abby, this morning when I arrived at work. 
her words... "I miss fighting with you over the best coffee mug." 
just made me happy and led me to this simple post. 
simple is good.  life is complicated.  small joys are key. 
drink a hot cup of coffee in a fun mug today.  it just might increase the size of your smile. 
I am toasting you from colorado, I assure you.
cheers,
kb.

last year during the season of Lent, a podcast I listen to used this graphic.
I saved it, as it reminds me of what this season is about and what to expect in a way, I suppose.
these past few months have been a bit chaotic in my immediate world of work and life, which quite frankly bleed into one another more often than not.
in some way, this above visual reminds me to not expect all to be easy, light, or understandable.
 it reminds me that this world is broken, and that we are being pruned and refined.
 it reminds me that I am ok and that I know Who wins.

it also reminds me of the curtain being torn giving us open access to conversation and connection with the Lord where it was not allowed prior to that friday.
(mark. 15.38.)
it reminds me that Jesus gets it...no matter what "it"is in each of our worlds.
He gets it.  (hebrews 4.15)

my friend, jesse, posted a beautiful song this weekend on her blog.
 I, too, love the words, and how it paints a picture of how deep the love of Christ is for us.
(click here...)  beautiful scandalous night.

another song pops into my head...

how deep the Father's love for us,

how vast beyond all measure

that He should give His only Son

to make a wretch His treasure

how great the pain of searing loss,

the Father turns His face away

as wounds with mar he chosen One

bring many sons to glory

behold the Man upon a cross,

my sin upon His shoulders

ashamed I hear my mocking voice,

call out among the scoffers

it was my sin that held Him there,

until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life

I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything

no gifts, no power, no wisdom 

but I will boast in Jesus Christ

his death and resurrection

why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer

but this I know with all my heart

his wounds have paid my ransom.

{stuart townend}

thanks be to Jesus.

and then, tomorrow, after what quite literally must have been the longest weekend ever...

on that sunday...

He kept His promise.  (matthew 28.6)  

so, I think it appropriate to maybe sing a song such as this...

my word, this makes me joyful.  I love a choir.  goodness!

enjoy!

kirk franklin...hosanna.

oh happy day! (one more...) oh happy day...aretha.

kb.

many of my friends who live both abroad and domestically are here for the next week or so.  greece.
they are a part of the annual spring break service project that I was a part of for three years when I lived in london.  international school kids all gather for young life camp to serve for a week. 
the Lord literally boggles my brain with how small the world is.  boggles.
many of my friends from here, yes, buena vista, co, are there right now preparing to welcome those international kids to "the best week of their lives".  in my wildest imaginings, I would not have been able to predict that dear friends on international staff would now be sharing experiences with my bueni friends. 
what?!  if you need evidence of how BIG the Lord is and at the same time incredibly INTIMATE,
there you go. 

my role this time around is to be a sender.  I am honoured and blessed to be still a part of this team, just in a different role.  honoured and blessed.  thankful.  I cannot wait to hear story after story upon their return.
today, I found my friend, ben's, blog as he is chronicling their journey.  my word, he is funny! 
I think you  might enjoy...
greece...day 1.
as you read, say a prayer for them, if you think about it.  a big piece of my heart is with them... 
cheers,
kb.

the more days that I live, the more often I find myself in situations and conversations where words fail.
words lead me at times to a place of "fix-it".  people (myself included) need/desire more of a presence than a would-be "solution" so often.
what a difficulty to allow for space for the Spirit to do His work.
wow.  so difficult.

one of the places where I constantly feel "met" is in a loss of words.  as I love to sort out, analyse, and explain, when my head and heart cease to find a description, narrative, or conclusion, I move toward silent support.  I think the Lord may be most pleased when I choose this path...
to simply love through presence and fewer words like "I know." or "I am here for you."

I feel like when I get to the end of my understanding, I am more prone to simplify.
I am more apt to move toward acting on the what I DO know in the midst of all else I do not...
love is always a good choice.
so, the Lord leads me to a place of asking not for understanding of the situation so much as for a tangible way to express love to those involved.
funny how asking this second question frees my mind and heart, leading me nearer to peace...
"love never fails..."  (one corinthians 13.8).

kb.

last week:  laura and me.

so last week I went skiing.  why is this noteworthy, you might think, as I live in colorado (and have done for almost 2 years now)?  well, those two days I spent on the slopes happen to be the first two I have experienced since my move to the rocky mountain region.  actually, those two days were the first venture onto skis in some 8 or 9 years.  and, this trip was the first time I have been with friends and not with young life kids.  I went down more runs in the first morning than I did in the whole of the three day trips I took back then, I am certain.  I spent more time then trying to find my girls or standing in the line at the ski rental to rent an additional pair of skis for one of my girls who somehow only got ONE of her skis on the bus when told to load up at camp for the slopes.  how is it possible to not notice you got two poles and only one ski?
oh, megan...  makes me laugh remembering.

  my girls and I on my that last yl ski trip I took, years ago...

(from left to right- therese, MEGAN, me, sara, and ellen.)

I would not have traded a minute of those yl trips, from bus ride to colorado to bus ride home to arkansas, sweetness abounded.

skiing with focus on my surroundings and my skill (elementary, as it may be) was a nice experience, though.  spring is the time to ski, in my opinion.  I would have like to have a bit more powder and less icy conditions, to be sure.  but, my word, the weather was gorgeous.  (and no worries of icy roads to navigate to get to the mountain...a major bonus!)

I felt like I was in a picture that a small child had drawn...
the sky was the bluest, truest blue.
the evergreens were ever so green.
the clouds puffy and simpson-like.
the sun illuminating the snow to make it pristinely white.
crisp, cool air that only the mountains can provide.

a lovely time, all in all.

so, the first picture shows another encounter of delight I happened upon while on the mountain.
my friend, laura, who I used to work with years ago at an advertising agency in arkansas, happened to be at monarch with her kids' youth group for spring break.
laura is one of those friends who is simply fun.  she is full of joy and life.  she and I can sit and chat about real things and nothing at all for hours.
she makes me laugh.  oh, how she makes me laugh.
we always pick up right where we left off regardless of how much time has past.
delight!

hope your weekend is joyful with fun friends and laughter.  I know I can never get enough.
cheers,
kb.

one of the gifts I have been given is the ability to connect with people.  I am endlessly intrigued by people and their stories.  people can never be completely understood or predicted which, on the flip side, also frustrates me at times. 

therein lies the beauty.  what I love the most I can never understand entirely.  

my eyes smile just thinking about this complexity. 

as seems to be a pattern, our greatest gifts can quickly become our greatest weaknesses.  in my desire to learn about people, I have been known to step into an ocean and lose sight of the land where I have a firm foundation. (see above plea.)  

I find this predicament of swimming with no clear direction to be helped along both by the person who invited me into the water and myself who clearly chose to become immersed.  

as I can only speak for myself, I see myself having control of how far I get away from shore.  

I always have a choice.  

I could  roll up my jeans and wade in to get a glimpse into the person's narrative, all the time being aware of the ground beneath my feet, knowing when I need to retreat to keep from being pulled in by the tide. I could also jump in with reckless abandon and flail about becoming saturated, looking like an exhausted, drenched, mess of my self.  

much of my life, I have chosen the latter option thinking that anything less that immersion communicated less than a loving friend.  where I got that notion I know not, but after a few near drownings, I have learned to be a bit more emotionally shore-based.  

the thing is, when I jump in with both feet with utter disregard of my own personal caution flags that say "beware of sharks!" or "high tide!", I get lost.  how can I discern where that person ends and I begin?  if I am not anchored in some way, I will float away.

ok, enough with the metaphor...

I do not have a natural sense of direction.  I have to study, get lost, and find my way again in order to remember the way.  but once I have been lost there, I am deeply aware of the correct path when I find myself in that same locale. (wow, it is difficult to avoid metaphor, isn't it?) 

thanks be to God.

many a relationship with a friend has found me overly attached and therefore lost, my actions being rationalized and defended under the umbrella of being a loving friend.  I like feeling needed.  plain and simple.  

while I have been in buena vista during this season, the Lord clearly has had truths he wants to root within me as an anchor.  

love is a very complex entity.  to do it properly, I must know who I am. 

I must stay clear on that fact above all knowledge of people. 

the only way for me to know who I am is to "bind my wandering heart to Thee".  

(first commandment for a reason.)  

I have spoken before about the word "impression" (see earlier post).  I need to be spending the majority of my time with those people who know themselves in this afore mentioned way, so that I might do the same.  I get lost too easily to be in the midst of any other community.  

I actually have a running list of things that constitute me "knowing my name".  I highly recommend it.  when I find myself drifting, which I believe will always be a struggle to some degree in my life, as my gifting is "knit together" within me, I read my list.  

I list silly things and serious things.  

you want examples?  ok. 

              I have a sincere devotion for t-shirts and jeans.  

              I emulate more than I innovate.

              I find it difficult to answer a question with a simple 'yes' or 'no'.

              I feel empowered by information.

              I love rain and cities...and rain in cities.

              I connect and am enlivened by kiddos.

it makes me smile, as I am reminded that I am both simple and complex.

ever thought about making a list?  

a side effect for me of keeping a firmer footing has been less people in my day-to-day life.  perhaps this state of being is for a season, but I have a feeling it is more of a permanent reality.  it has turned out to be healthier to scale down the number of "deep" encounters to ensure I do not drown.  

and, yes, loneliness can be present with this choice.  

another side effect?  clearheadedness.  I have to read my list less, as I am in tune with myself a bit more, and I have more to give and receive when encounters with people occur.  

said interactions appear to be on purpose rather than created by my own doing.  

as a woman who has been taught/encouraged to lead and pursue in a full time ministry context for most of my adult life, it can be difficult to switch off and allow any connection to happen naturally.  

I am thankful for my leadership skills.  I am also thankful for my gifts.  

more and more, I am thankful for the Lord's prompting for me to give both of these things over to Him to utilize as He sees fit, asking me to breathe and allow Him to go before, waiting for the sign to engage and connect.  

don't believe the random. (see earlier post for clarity of my passion for this phrase.)

buena vista, colorado is exactly the locale where I have needed (and currently need) to be to see this proper order of action in regard to this gifting He has given me. 

thanks be to God for both the gift of grace (ephesians 3.7) and the pursuit of peace (psalm 34.14). 

jason mraz and james morrison are two of my favourite artists. jason possesses a deep talent for turn of phrase and note, as well as an incredible voice... talk about using your gifts well.  james is a brit with loads of soul.  the fact that they combined their talents to sing a poignant song delights me.

details in the fabric.mraz/morrison

this week I was chatting with my friend, beth, about cheese.  not the tasty dairy product that goes with nearly every food well but the word used in reference to corny, sentimental, schmaltzy things.  my friend mentioned Christian radio...how cheesy the music sounds at times but how much the words speak to her heart. as she explained, it occurred to me that within the "cheesy", I can also find truth, safety, purity, and ease.  michael w. smith takes me back to my years in junior high when my faith was beginning to be formed.  I remember listening to this song in college when I found myself in a time of potential drifting.

I know your name.m.w.smith.

ephesians 3.16-19...
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

cheers,
kb.

have you ever seen the show "Outnumbered" by chance?
oddly enough, I did not happen upon it until I had returned to the States from the UK.  truly, these kids (writers of the show) are ridiculously hilarious.
watch these clips below.
then, watch a few more that pop up on the side of its youtube page.
I hope these clips makes you laugh as much as they do me.
I literally cannot breathe while watching these kids at times.
awkward questions about Jesus...
girls can't throw.

happy laughing sunday!
kb.

how beautiful is this image?  standing still, or perhaps we could say 'ceasing to strive', and allowing...
yes, letting the present be the present.  taking it all in.  (psalm 46.10)

today I reconnected with a friend from a few years back.  a friend I spent only a bit of time with here and there over a couple of summers.  she shared with me a snapshot of her life in recent days, and her story told of interwoven, intentional moments both within her heart, desires being revealed, and moments encountered externally through conversations with those around her.  all of these afore mentioned seemingly random tidbits have been pieced together, on purpose, to show her a next step.  specifically, a summer in colorado for my friend!
as we chatted on the phone, I was overwhelmed with thankfulness to hear and be reminded that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose"(rom. 8.28)...even when we are unaware.  I was certainly in the dark about how the Lord had gone before me to prepare my friend for my simple ask to be in colorado this summer to do a bit of videography.  

honestly, I feel like most of the time we are blissfully unaware.  a blessing to be sure, as I am certain pride would rear its head in ugly ways.
the first few words of that verse above are, "and we know".  oh how often I forget.
may there be more days that "I know"...that I root into and anchor onto that utter truth of God's perspective, hand, and overwhelming goodness.
don't believe the "random".
kb.

"with the goodness of God to desire our highest welfare, 

the wisdom of God to plan it, 

and the power of God to achieve it, 

what do we lack?

surely, we are the most favoured of all creatures."

a.w. tozer.

my word, this beat makes me happy.

bernhoft-c'mon talk.

thanks, lana, for finding this and passing it along.
kb.

on tuesday, I will return to "the most magical place on Earth".  

I went to disney world for the first time with my mom, dad, and older brother when I was around seven.  I remember little other than wearing a red poncho the greater part of the week and eating ice cream on a stick in the shape of mickey mouse.  

(sidenote:  I am so thankful for my family who loves acting like kids.  chad and heather (my brother and sister-in-law) went to disney world every year in the early years of their marriage.  they have pictures of the two of them with mickey and minnie dressed in literally every outfit that exists in every "land" within the disney world parks.  I do not exaggerate with this statement.  the photo albums are hilarious, and they look ridiculously happy, arms swung around the two plush characters.  

they were at disney world on sept. 11th and had to be evacuated, actually.  eerie.)

thankfully, the mission of young life is 1. staff-wise, way too big to gather at any other venue other than a place las vegas (and I do not see that ever happening.) and b.  clearly injected with fun at its core.  

next week marks the third venture to the young life all staff conference for me.  I feel blessed to have been invited to attend in what will be three distinctly different divisions...mississippi valley (field staff in arkansas), international north (field staff in london), and now colorado camping (property staff at trail west lodge).  somehow in all my stints on and off staff, I have managed to be ON when one of these massive events rolls around.  

ok, to the fun.  the above photo was snapped by a friend 4 years ago.  clearly, you can see the utter childlike joy that I am in the midst of as I spin ridiculously fast on the tea cups.  yes, the tea cups.  

on the inside, I am 6 years old.  I would so prefer to spin than to drop.  roller coasters?  sometimes.  

I close my eyes the entire time.  I think the drop portion is just a bit too realistic, like turbulence in an airplane.  

how often do you spin like a maniac in real life?  it just makes you dizzy, and you cannot help but laugh.  pure joy.  I also have a special skill for maximizing the spin.  (we all have gifts.)  

much talk in the office this past week about how we feel about the upcoming florida time.  anxiousness hovers over the sheer amount of people who will all be in the same space, roughly 4,000.  excitement ensues about reuniting with old friends.  eagerness and anticipation co-mingle for warm weather and relaxation.  

I feel all of the afore mentioned, to be sure.  not to mention the prospective giddiness involved in more tea cup spinning...

as I ready by packing my luggage this weekend, I strive to unpack my brain, so full of all expectations, hopes, and potentials.  my sweet friend, clare, made a poignant statement in regard to this gathering the other night (thanks to carls for sharing it with us)... 

"what we know we can count on is for God to show up."  

so rooted in truth is that statement.  so my prayer for this next week at our "celebration" is one of expectation to be aware of Presence.  

perhaps, this week will help deepen said awareness in day-to-day life, as well.  

here's to warmth, laughter, being 6 years old, and breathing deep!

cheers,

kb.

today I spend my day off sipping coffee and contemplating/exploring new possibilities.
I find my mind remembering a journal entry I wrote this past november.
the key word of this chronicle...
adventure.

adventure |adˈven ch ər; əd-|

noun

an unusual and exciting, typically hazardous, experience or activity : her recent adventures in Italy.

• daring and exciting activity calling for enterprise and enthusiasm : she traveled the world in search of adventure | a sense of adventure.

the past year and a half, I have been on retreat.  yes, that is the most apt way of describing this time in the mountains, I would think.  retreat in the sense that it has been easy or without hurt, frustration, drama, or lessons?  of course not.  as long as we are breathing, life creeps in, no matter what the locale, number of people in your day to day, or level of noise in your surroundings.
however, for all intents and purposes, I have unplugged from the "typical" hustle and bustle of life that the majority of us are accustomed to with social schedules, classes or work to catch up on, phone calls to return, etc.
firstly, let me say that I am immensely thankful for the quiet I have been gifted with here in my little mountain town.  its slower pace has allowed me to breathe.  I had no idea how long it had been since I just focussed on being in my world of ministry, relationship juggling, and moving.
seasons are on purpose.  "a time for everything..."
even kevin bacon would tell you that...(sidenote:  really?  we needed a re-make?  really?!  no.)
ecclesiastes 3.

I feel a new season approaching, and as the Lord cannot betray his nature, he is being faithful to continue to affirm this leading.  I have no definites yet.  the practicals have not been revealed...yet.
but, I know a change is on the horizon, and I am excited about the next adventure.

I am on the cusp of re-engaging into a space to once again utilize gifts that I have known needed to be dormant for a time.
my head feels clear, which is no small feat as those of you who know me well can testify. (God is big.  God is intimate.)
I cannot remember leaving a place/job being in a healthy state (in my adult life).  exhaustion and absolute necessity have been my indicators in the past...a sense of desperation for change.
I do not feel desperate.
I feel ready, eager, and excited.

I do realize that I am being quite vague, but as I research, explore, wait, and pray for the pieces to fit together, I feel compelled to stay active in keeping record of the continuing movement.  also, for those of you who still take the time to read this blog after so many years of my journey here and abroad, it blesses me to know you are walking alongside me in some way, cheering me onward.

I adore this word above.  holds within it such empowerment, confidence, and ability.  

may your tuesday be filled with moments of personal victory.  

cheers,

kb.

my word, I am laughing just thinking about these two videos of ridiculousness...
click on the two links below.
firstly, jimmy fallon and kristin wiig, does it get any better?  truly.

1920's Holiday Party
don't make me sing...don't make me dance!

secondly, I must preface this by saying that I have decided to learn a new language.  I have a fair aptitude and retention for language, in general, so I thought I would try my hand in the new year.  (when I lived overseas, I decided I wanted to learn EVERY language of EVERY country I visited.  ridiculous, as I visited places like turkey and bulgaria.  yep, there is a huge opportunity to keep those up in my day-to-day life.  well, what can I say... I get excited about learning, new cultures, and further ability to relate to people.)  ultimately, I decided on french. as I foresee most of my future travel being european, I thought I might just have a shot at retaining a bit of what I learn.  I ordered rosetta stone.  I have talked about doing so for ages, so I have now taken action.    so far, I love it!  not a lot going on in my sleepy colorado town this time of year, so I have plenty of time to work on it.  I also sort of love school.  I know.  I have just gotten really real and vulnerable by acknowledging that publicly, but it happens to be true.  (perhaps I am getting back into the groove for events to come... hmmm... stay tuned...)
when I told my friend, cat, that I was on this quest, she sent me this link.
for anyone who has learned a language, you will relate to the obscurity of the random phrases you learn.
I love that it has all the "lyrics" written below.
flight of the conchords...random and hilarious.

foux da fa fa...

hope you laugh...like to the point that someone from the next room cannot help but come in and ask what is so funny.  :)
kb.

intimacy with others is difficult, humbling, and often emotional.
however, interwoven with these challenging characteristics, resides a richness beyond description.

the truth will set you free...john 8.32.
amen.

oftentimes, allowing people into the places of my being that are beyond my control, namely where emotions surface as I begin to speak, fills me with nervousness.  though the Lord continues to shape me into a braver soul in this area of heart revealing, my nature is to attempt to appear strong, confident, informed, and well-spoken.

a greater inability to "appear altogether" is one of the giant changes in my person since having lived overseas.  when I was in england, my day-to-day life held so much unknown that little by little I lost the capacity to fake self-confidence in so many ways.  I was humbled at every turn, especially in the beginning.  I needed to ask questions, get lost, look silly, and be bold to survive essentially.
also, when I moved from london, I feared that I would be moving "back" to the States...that I would be somehow regressing in growth, as I re-entered so much familiar.
oh how gracious the Lord is to shake his head lovingly in His all-knowing essence and patiently reveal to me that going "back" is not an option.
the changes He makes in our lives are significant, deep, and beyond our explanation.
He has revealed (and continues to make very evident) to me that He is the one who led me away from the UK and desired for me to re-enter the States.  I did not leave Him in england.  and england is not a magical place.  it was the place for me for the time He had me there.  it was the setting He used to teach me lessons He needed me to learn there.
now I am in colorado discovering new truths, remembering who I am in Him and learning who I am becoming each day with His hand lovingly leading in this setting.
no locale is more special or important than another.
where He is and desires us to be is the holiest, life-changing "home".

today I truly felt the deeper breathing that arrives when transparency resides in friendship.  keeping those around you "in the loop" allows for support, insight, affirmation, and perspective...

I am thankful for such sweet friends who cheer for me with such steadfast spirits.
I am thankful for friends who lead me by living a life striving to be obedient, daring to take risks.
for an impressionable emulator like myself, being surrounded by people of such character blesses me to my core.  

happy new year!
cheers,
kb.

Janelle Monae...smooth.

today, this makes me dance.
kb.

such profound words.  oh, lloyd dobler...via cameron crowe.  how you have given us such deep thoughts.  my sister-in-law and brother gave me these coasters for Christmas.  quite possibly one of the best gifts I have ever received.
love.
if you have never seen this movie, please do so.
say anything...
poignant, a bit sad, and full of hope.
happy Christmas!
cheers,
kb.

the holidays have begun, to be sure.  thanksgiving  has been and gone, and now thoughts are shifted to celebrating Christmas.  the trees covered in snow are a fair representation of life currently in bueni.  the stars cascading over regent street show the year's decor in londontown.

I loved london during the holidays.  some criticise the city with all of its sounds, bright lights, and bustle.  I relished it.  not the spending of ridiculous amounts of money or the elbowing of people trying to get from this place to that one.  I love the cheer that truly escalates during this season in a city that most times is filled to the brim with anonymity, the shutting down of oxford street for shopping and munching on mince pies (I do not eat them, as I think them disgusting.  but I loved the aesthetic of people walking about with baskets passing them out.), the fake snow shooting out over hamley's toy store as you queue up to get in, the baristas in starbucks wearing holiday shirts in place of their usual black, much to their chagrin...
I am thankful to have gotten to spend so many holiday seasons in this great city.

holidays here in colorado look like a postcard.  bing crosby and danny kaye spring to mind (even though they were supposedly in vermont).  we literally can walk just about anywhere and cut down our own trees to decorate.  the mountains stand less than an hour away, beckoning us to don skis.  all the layered, wooly fashion in catalouges of j.crew is appropriate.  the quiet of freshly fallen snow surrounds.
I am thankful to be here this season.

wintry, chilly months tend to always bring me joy.  cozy sweaters, white lights strung, peanut buttery, chocolate treats made, copious amounts of coffee in favourite mugs brings much needed inner warmth...
nesting seems to take place in my world when the snow begins to fall and mr. buble' serenades on a loop.
as I reminisce of Christmases past and relish days current, I hope all of you do the same, seeing a picture of a plan so much bigger and sweeter than we could ask or imagine.

may your days be merry and bright this season.  may joy abound and blessings be seen.  
happy Christmas!
kb.

oh how I love a soulful song...
a few I have had on a loop lately.
do yourself a favour.  listen.
marc broussard...come in from the cold.

amos lee...colors.

the black keys...never gonna give you up.

nickel creek...this side.

kb.

full of thanks I am for this little one.
it so evident that children were created by God, who is defined as love.
is there anything better than having a child yell your name and then run into your arms?
not much, I dare say.
may I never distance from children in my daily life.  never.
such a sweet, safe, simple place full of joy, in their presence.

this week, I got to spend some quality time with this little one, mg.
we watched a marathon of tom and jerry.
we chewed countless pieces of juicy fruit which she graciously unwrapped and folded before handing to me each time.
we told knock knock jokes that had absolutely no punch line.
she climbed on my lap often.
we put together a puzzle, "100 pieces, kym!  this puzzle is ONE HUNDRED pieces."with her advising me on what shape of piece we needed for certain open spots.
we fluffed branches of her grandparents' Christmas tree.
simple joy, full stop.

one day while we were sitting on the couch, she just looked up and said, "I adore you."

psalm 84.1...
how lovely is your dwelling place, Lord Almighty.
phillipians 4.8...
...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent of praiseworthy--think about such things.

these above verses pop to mind as I think on time spent with kiddos.
the common word which appears is "lovely".

lovely is defined as "exquisitely beautiful".
yes.  indeed.

across the atlantic, this word is used quite liberally.  it is one I have purposefully kept in my vocabulary, as it holds such tenderness, intensity, and lightness.
today, I choose to contemplate the loveliness of life spent amongst children.
thanks be to God.
kb.

boston.

it rained the first 24 hours, but it added to the mood.  city and rain...a sweet setting for me.
a smaller london...with baseball!
lunch with claire near boston college...perhaps my favourite part of the whole of the trip.
boston.  I like it.

A library.  I truly love a library... something about the potential there for learning, discovery, and quiet.  Lately, I have been spending a good deal of time in our local building full of books to utilize the internet access, as my current abode is without connection.
The above photo in no way resembles said space, but it is the way a library in mind ought to look.
I currently am sat on a couch, earbuds in listening to "what barnz is spinning...", looking out the window at autumn in full bloom here in Colorado.  Yellows and oranges splash here and there in the midst of the ever present greens and browns of the Rocky Mountains.
Beautiful majesty... without doubt.

October is just around the corner, and as many of you are aware, this is my favourite month.  I am beyond excited about a trip I have planned over my birthday to NYC and Boston.  I get to see my friend Lucy in NYC, and I plan to make a trek to Boston to see some of my London girls.  I also have wanted for some time to visit Boston, as I have heard it described as the most European of cities in the States.  I have a distinct feeling that I might find a new place of joy.  Friends who share knowledge of me and of this city mentioned have said I would love it, as well.  I am anticipating a great week.
Though this tiny town boasts such beautiful vistas, I find the quiet to be a bit loud for me at times.
I need some noise, some masses, some exploration.  I feel a bit like I am on a permanent retreat here in this oasis.  One can only drink in so much until she could use a place to pour it out.
This trip east will hopefully satisfy this desire for a break from solitude.

I hope you are all well, enjoying football (or whatever equals autumn for you), falling leaves, and hot beverages.
My encouragement and choice for my week...
Choose positivity.  Soak up the sunlight.  Listen to great music.  Drink coffee.  Look to discover.
Cheers,
kb.

 Adam and Lana are now newlyweds!  I went last weekend to their lovely, simple nuptials in Indiana.  I was blessed to be able to witness such a sweet, heartfelt joining of two amazing friends.  I must mention here that I was mentioned by both fathers...once from the pulpit (Adam's dad performed the ceremony) and once at the reception when Lana's dad did his toast.  I brought them together.  Adam keeps telling me to take a little credit and not deflect it all.  Ok.  I introduced them.  I cannot wait to see them in Denver in their new place on my next jaunt to the city.

I arrived back in Bueni to cooler temperatures and a bit of rain.  My heart was full to overflowing.  My coffee tastes better.  The sweaters slowly emerge from my drawer.  Boots don my feet.
Sigh...
Autumn is quite simply my favourite.
The other noteworthy item is the picture below...my new place, well, as of July.  I have moved into a guest house of a friend and am settling in quite nicely.  It is cozy and quiet.  I love having my own space.  I bought this couch a couple of weeks ago, and every time I sit on it, I love it more.
This space is currently bringing me joy, and I am certain this state of being will continue as I transition into the off-season here at camp.  It is quiet and at times a bit boring, but having a nest I love makes all the difference, as those of you who know me well know about me.

The Lord has cleared my head and heart over the last couple of weeks.  I feel the autumn brings deep breathing, reading of many a book, and a bit of exploration (to be explained in a post in the near future, perhaps...).
I hope the autumn brings you rest, along with loads of warm beverages, cozy jackets, and brilliant time with people you love.
cheers,
kb.