A nomad... yes, time for another look at our pal Webster. The word nomad is defined as "an individual who roams about aimlessly". I'd say that pretty much sums up my world this past weekend. I am amazed at how I am beginning to realize that "home" is the place where you make it, where your heart resides. When I was growing up, I was super attached to my house, my neighborhood, my normal rhythm of life. I lived in the same house from age three to eighteen. When my family moved out of said house, I wanted no part in packing up my childhood and seeing my favourite place in boxes.
College and the world of Young Life have taught me that I take home with me wherever I go, that no building truly creates comfort. We fill those places with life, laughter, coziness, and connection. I am thankful for this realization so that I am not as devastated when I leave a house, apartment, or room; however, I must confess "[roaming] about aimlessly" is not my preference. I realize the necessity of this lifestyle at the moment, but I do look forward to my move to London when I can nest again in my new space. My friend, Brian, likes to use that word, "nesting", to sort of poke fun at girls in general because we seem to have that innate need. Boys nest, too; they just will not call it that. : )
I have just been watching Bonnie Hunt on Letterman. Friends, she is hilarious...such quick wit and comedic timing.
Today, I read an article that referenced The Princess Bride, quoting Wesley as saying, "Life is pain. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you something". Sounds pretty depressing, doesn't it? Well, life is depressing at times. Exactly the point. The author of this article makes a great statement: "This isn't as depressing as it seems. It's just perspective. A realistic perspective on the hardship of humanity."
Perspective is one of my life words. I call it a life word, I think, due to my immeasurable need for an outside look into me and because I continue to be so thankful for it when this view comes into my world, from the Lord and quite frequently from my friends. My friend, Mark, once called it having thermometers in our lives, those who can see a side we cannot see of ourselves and help us gauge our temperature, our health. What a great analogy, I have always thought.
Life evokes emotion, feeling, and decision-making. Owning up to and identifying emotion is always a bit of a challenge to me. My default is to put on a good face, take care of myself, and swallow any frustrations or uneasiness. Though I cannot pinpoint the source of these behaviours of mine, I have no question they exist. Understanding that life truly lived involves awkwardness, emotions, mistakes, communication, apologies, rebuilding, change... frees me to feel normal, human, and okay with not being perfect. I like smoothness and comfort.
"Trust me", the Lord says. "But I think I can take care of it. I can sort through it and figure out how to make all of this healthy and smooth", I reply, matter-of-factly. "I can do it, and I will if you will just allow me", says He.
May I encourage you that this last statement is completely true. He never said anything about it being easy or lacking pain. He did promise to be faithful and to never leave us. Pain is a part of life. We should expect that fact. Thankfully, we get to choose who we rely on and in whom we place our trust for our ultimate comfort, our true Home.