Sunday, 10 June 2012
our first week was difficult in big and small ways that I cannot aptly describe and do not feel need to re-live, to be honest.
the week after was beyond description better than our first one. all involved, both those who reside here for only a month and those of us who call tw home for the whole of the summer were more at ease and breathing a bit easier.
don't get me wrong. better does not mean easy in many senses. we are still quite obviously humans with all the weaknesses and insecurities that we always possess.
I overheard a conversation in the hallway of the lodge today between a boss and a high school work crew girl. the boss was explaining in no uncertain terms that her attitude needed to change. I crept by them and quickly ducked into my office.
difficult for all involved.
I also saw staff people with furrowed brows discussing an unknown situation (to me), clearly trying to sort out a best course of action.
last week, horses and guests (often on said horses, at the time) chose behaviour that boggled brains of the wranglers.
and, changes to our daily schedules continue to pop up causing us to have to flex and adapt far more than we are normally accustomed.
letting loose of our grip a bit more.
for me, the "better factor" has arisen in relational dynamic settling.
if my community of friends is sound and at peace, I simply have more reserve and resource to tackle all those around me who need me to think on my feet and make things happen. I expect those who arrive in the summer to work for a month to have requests, suggestions, and expectations that need to be assessed, addressed, and achieved. I expect them to not completely "get" what is possible with respect to those of us who know the world of our property like the back of our hand.
visitors do not know.
that is ok.
why should they know?
it is when those of us who do know, our core tw family, get at odds with one another that I feel disjointed.
I become adrift.
when we do not communicate well or become frustrated with one another, all goes awry within me.
I am thankful for this realization that the Lord ever reminds me of, especially in the summer here.
I am thankful for the tears from week one that helped me see a window into something amiss.
I am thankful for resolution, clarity, and simply having a bit less unknown that helped week two feel a bit better.
above: yet again a cobblestone picture in which I find analogy.
I cannot see the whole of the path.
if I look too far ahead, I could very easily twist an ankle in the unevenness of the stony layout.
looks like there has been some rain on this path, as well.
without the rain, the light would not reflect in the puddles, and the parting of the clouds would not be so appreciated.
God is good.
all the time.
Wednesday, 6 June 2012
I find myself thinking of this place this week more than usual. yesterday, the 4th of june, was the third anniversary of my leaving this city I called home for three years. I have now been back in the States as long as I lived abroad.
as most of you know I am certain if connected to the outside world, jubilee celebrations have been under way lately in london, and this lovely city will also, in a short while, be host of the 2012 olympic games. exciting times in my fair metropolis across the pond.
I miss it.
I will always miss it.
a friend asked me yesterday, when I told of my anniversary:
"so, do you feel wiser?", a bit jokingly.
after a bit of thought, I replied, "hmmm...not really.", in an matched tone of jest.
(mostly to get a laugh from my audience and to avoid sounding...well, pompous, I suppose.)
it was not a moment for narrative but a moment of quick answer.
if I am completely honest, I do feel a bit wiser. but not because I lived in this lovely land abroad.
not because of anything to do with me and my keenness or intelligence.
london is, indeed, lovely, but as much as I adore and miss said locale, it is not magical.
God is good, intentional, and sovereign.
london was a place I struggled, lived, and learned, but it is only a place.
sometimes I have to be reminded of this above fact as I have a bit of a romantic side (to say the least).
times such as this anniversary find me all the more idealistic and swimming in the pool of fondness.
God is good, intentional, and sovereign.
it is important for me to keep perspective clear.
oh how changed I am and how more who I am meant to be since my time lived in londontown.
so, this week, I reminisce.
this week, I am thankful.
this week, I remember.
thanks be to God.