Monday, 25 February 2013
often we want to be somewhere other than where we are, or even to be someone other than who we are. we tend to compare ourselves constantly with others and wonder why we are not as rich, as intelligent, as simple, as generous, or as saintly as they are. such comparisons make us feel guilty, ashamed, or jealous. it is very important to realize that our vocation is hidden in where we are and who we are. we are unique human beings, each with a call to realize in life what nobody else can, and to realize it in the concrete context of the here and now.
we will never find our vocations by trying to figure out whether we are better or worse than others. we are good enough to do what we are called to do. be yourself!
years ago, my friend and mentor, mike connected me with a daily meditation email list to the above author. mr. nouwen's foundation sends bite-sized food for thought to those who subscribe. I am constantly blessed by quickly ingesting these wise words from a man who had such great insight and faith.
do you ever have moments when you feel like you have been awoken in your spirit? times when you may not have even known you were asleep or simply going through the motions of work or relationship?
this week I have had a few of said moments, and I thought of this afore quoted meditation. when those moments strike, I feel like, well...
I feel I am the best version of me.
like I am using my gifts.
like human connection and kindness is occurring.
a clarifying feeling.
and, I stop.
I stop because I am struck with the absolute assurance that these moments are beyond me.
these encounters are supernatural, poignant, important, and life-infusing.
again, the most beautiful, intimate awareness I possess at these instances is that I am being...
the best version of me.
not someone else or someone utterly unrecognizable to my inner.
perhaps the most heartwarming, life-altering, intense, precious, loving, tender, sweet, personal part of the gospel to me is that the Lord is working to make me an improved version of me.
I believe He created me. I also believe He is incapable of making mistakes.
(rom. 9.20-I remember this verse shaking me to my core one day when I first read it in college. yipes!)
I try and try.
I aspire and plan.
I beat myself up when I feel I have missed the mark.
when I breathe and simply show up, beautiful moments occur.
I pray your week is full of 'being yourself' moments.
as longing to be the best, deepest version of you is the proper outlook, in my opinion.
Monday, 18 February 2013
it is february, after all. feels like snow is meant to be all around.
and, so it is.
steps have been taken in my quest to attain my advanced degree in the last week, so I feel accomplished in a way.
friends. I have them here now.
work continues to be steady with hours (*a.k.a. dosh, $, cash, bob) at times, and then, said provision utterly plummets into a nose dive threatening certain catastrophe. each time this cycle begins, my anxiousness rises.
have I lived in this reality of financial ups and downs before?
more times than not, in my adult life, I have prayed for the next paycheck to arrive to sustain life as I know it. but, I will say, that just because one has experienced something, does NOT make this battle being fought again bruise-free.
refine. (remove impurities or unwanted elements; improve by making small changes.)
fine= of high quality.
yes, I see.
the next image I conjure up is one of "refiner's fire".
sometimes, it hurts.
Friday, 15 February 2013
this particular show's line up looked like this...
"To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire,g help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire, and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery." (http://www.twloha.com/faq/).
if you have a minute, take a look at this organization. as I say, it is new to me, but from everything I read and see about it, I am so thankful it exists. I love when people take an experience from their own lives and find a way to love on other people with it and through it.
inspirational and a jolt of positivity to my spirit.
people loving other people and allowing each other to be broken, authentic, and honest.