Janelle Monae...smooth.

today, this makes me dance.
kb.

such profound words.  oh, lloyd dobler...via cameron crowe.  how you have given us such deep thoughts.  my sister-in-law and brother gave me these coasters for Christmas.  quite possibly one of the best gifts I have ever received.
love.
if you have never seen this movie, please do so.
say anything...
poignant, a bit sad, and full of hope.
happy Christmas!
cheers,
kb.

the holidays have begun, to be sure.  thanksgiving  has been and gone, and now thoughts are shifted to celebrating Christmas.  the trees covered in snow are a fair representation of life currently in bueni.  the stars cascading over regent street show the year's decor in londontown.

I loved london during the holidays.  some criticise the city with all of its sounds, bright lights, and bustle.  I relished it.  not the spending of ridiculous amounts of money or the elbowing of people trying to get from this place to that one.  I love the cheer that truly escalates during this season in a city that most times is filled to the brim with anonymity, the shutting down of oxford street for shopping and munching on mince pies (I do not eat them, as I think them disgusting.  but I loved the aesthetic of people walking about with baskets passing them out.), the fake snow shooting out over hamley's toy store as you queue up to get in, the baristas in starbucks wearing holiday shirts in place of their usual black, much to their chagrin...
I am thankful to have gotten to spend so many holiday seasons in this great city.

holidays here in colorado look like a postcard.  bing crosby and danny kaye spring to mind (even though they were supposedly in vermont).  we literally can walk just about anywhere and cut down our own trees to decorate.  the mountains stand less than an hour away, beckoning us to don skis.  all the layered, wooly fashion in catalouges of j.crew is appropriate.  the quiet of freshly fallen snow surrounds.
I am thankful to be here this season.

wintry, chilly months tend to always bring me joy.  cozy sweaters, white lights strung, peanut buttery, chocolate treats made, copious amounts of coffee in favourite mugs brings much needed inner warmth...
nesting seems to take place in my world when the snow begins to fall and mr. buble' serenades on a loop.
as I reminisce of Christmases past and relish days current, I hope all of you do the same, seeing a picture of a plan so much bigger and sweeter than we could ask or imagine.

may your days be merry and bright this season.  may joy abound and blessings be seen.  
happy Christmas!
kb.

oh how I love a soulful song...
a few I have had on a loop lately.
do yourself a favour.  listen.
marc broussard...come in from the cold.

amos lee...colors.

the black keys...never gonna give you up.

nickel creek...this side.

kb.

full of thanks I am for this little one.
it so evident that children were created by God, who is defined as love.
is there anything better than having a child yell your name and then run into your arms?
not much, I dare say.
may I never distance from children in my daily life.  never.
such a sweet, safe, simple place full of joy, in their presence.

this week, I got to spend some quality time with this little one, mg.
we watched a marathon of tom and jerry.
we chewed countless pieces of juicy fruit which she graciously unwrapped and folded before handing to me each time.
we told knock knock jokes that had absolutely no punch line.
she climbed on my lap often.
we put together a puzzle, "100 pieces, kym!  this puzzle is ONE HUNDRED pieces."with her advising me on what shape of piece we needed for certain open spots.
we fluffed branches of her grandparents' Christmas tree.
simple joy, full stop.

one day while we were sitting on the couch, she just looked up and said, "I adore you."

psalm 84.1...
how lovely is your dwelling place, Lord Almighty.
phillipians 4.8...
...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent of praiseworthy--think about such things.

these above verses pop to mind as I think on time spent with kiddos.
the common word which appears is "lovely".

lovely is defined as "exquisitely beautiful".
yes.  indeed.

across the atlantic, this word is used quite liberally.  it is one I have purposefully kept in my vocabulary, as it holds such tenderness, intensity, and lightness.
today, I choose to contemplate the loveliness of life spent amongst children.
thanks be to God.
kb.

boston.

it rained the first 24 hours, but it added to the mood.  city and rain...a sweet setting for me.
a smaller london...with baseball!
lunch with claire near boston college...perhaps my favourite part of the whole of the trip.
boston.  I like it.

A library.  I truly love a library... something about the potential there for learning, discovery, and quiet.  Lately, I have been spending a good deal of time in our local building full of books to utilize the internet access, as my current abode is without connection.
The above photo in no way resembles said space, but it is the way a library in mind ought to look.
I currently am sat on a couch, earbuds in listening to "what barnz is spinning...", looking out the window at autumn in full bloom here in Colorado.  Yellows and oranges splash here and there in the midst of the ever present greens and browns of the Rocky Mountains.
Beautiful majesty... without doubt.

October is just around the corner, and as many of you are aware, this is my favourite month.  I am beyond excited about a trip I have planned over my birthday to NYC and Boston.  I get to see my friend Lucy in NYC, and I plan to make a trek to Boston to see some of my London girls.  I also have wanted for some time to visit Boston, as I have heard it described as the most European of cities in the States.  I have a distinct feeling that I might find a new place of joy.  Friends who share knowledge of me and of this city mentioned have said I would love it, as well.  I am anticipating a great week.
Though this tiny town boasts such beautiful vistas, I find the quiet to be a bit loud for me at times.
I need some noise, some masses, some exploration.  I feel a bit like I am on a permanent retreat here in this oasis.  One can only drink in so much until she could use a place to pour it out.
This trip east will hopefully satisfy this desire for a break from solitude.

I hope you are all well, enjoying football (or whatever equals autumn for you), falling leaves, and hot beverages.
My encouragement and choice for my week...
Choose positivity.  Soak up the sunlight.  Listen to great music.  Drink coffee.  Look to discover.
Cheers,
kb.

 Adam and Lana are now newlyweds!  I went last weekend to their lovely, simple nuptials in Indiana.  I was blessed to be able to witness such a sweet, heartfelt joining of two amazing friends.  I must mention here that I was mentioned by both fathers...once from the pulpit (Adam's dad performed the ceremony) and once at the reception when Lana's dad did his toast.  I brought them together.  Adam keeps telling me to take a little credit and not deflect it all.  Ok.  I introduced them.  I cannot wait to see them in Denver in their new place on my next jaunt to the city.

I arrived back in Bueni to cooler temperatures and a bit of rain.  My heart was full to overflowing.  My coffee tastes better.  The sweaters slowly emerge from my drawer.  Boots don my feet.
Sigh...
Autumn is quite simply my favourite.
The other noteworthy item is the picture below...my new place, well, as of July.  I have moved into a guest house of a friend and am settling in quite nicely.  It is cozy and quiet.  I love having my own space.  I bought this couch a couple of weeks ago, and every time I sit on it, I love it more.
This space is currently bringing me joy, and I am certain this state of being will continue as I transition into the off-season here at camp.  It is quiet and at times a bit boring, but having a nest I love makes all the difference, as those of you who know me well know about me.

The Lord has cleared my head and heart over the last couple of weeks.  I feel the autumn brings deep breathing, reading of many a book, and a bit of exploration (to be explained in a post in the near future, perhaps...).
I hope the autumn brings you rest, along with loads of warm beverages, cozy jackets, and brilliant time with people you love.
cheers,
kb.

summer ends in a week.  

I realize I have not written here since the summer began.  this absence largely is due to the sheer number of people, and with them thoughts, that have travelled through my sphere in the last three months.  

yet again, the Lord has surprised and blessed me.  summer is not the only season in which he teaches, of course, but as so much of my nature is enlivened and taught through others around me, it stands to reason that the influx of people brings with it a season of discovery.  

impression.

I love words and meaning.  when I was making literature for fundraising for moving to london, I looked ferociously at definitions of words to frame my goal for said move.  what was it that I hoped to do in the lives of kids there?  

I chose the word "impression".  I loved how it was defined.  

• an effect produced on someone

• a difference made by the action or presence of someone or something

• a mark impressed on a surface by something

making an impression does not change the essence of the entity into which it is pressed.  a leather belt with a name impressed into it does not cease to be a leather belt after the letters become permanent features on its surface.  it simply is changed...added to.  it is altered but not beyond recognition of it being a leather belt.  

earlier in the summer, my friends and I did a little leather impressing, as we had happened upon a stamping kit.  we had varying degrees of "success". 

I was pleased with my belt. 

carley liked her headband. 

elston still sports his hat strap proudly and wears his belt even though he accidentally chose a "q" instead of an "o".  it just makes us laugh and adds to its character.  

mal, on the other hand, ended the evening in utter sadness not having liked any project she attempted.  

sam felt rather lukewarm about his work, if I remember rightly.  

I suppose whether impression is good or ill sits in the eye of the beholder.  the Lord works everything together for good according to his good purpose, so there is always an opportunity for Him to make all good.  

as I think about the summer, I will remember the impressions that have been pressed into me.  

I have deepened existing friendships with those who return summer after summer.  

I have learned once again the look of unconditional relationship.  

I have had fun.  

I have had thought-provoking conversations. 

I have done crafts for hours in silence.

I have met new people who speak truth, act silly, work diligently, and lead well.  

I have had seats saved for me, had coffee brought to me (just the way I like it), and had traditions of saturday morning breakfasts upheld. 

I have had people love on me by listening, by asking, and by giving.  

I have had shared experiences, shared family stories, and shared hurts.

I have had help in moving, joy in sending, and blessing in simply being.  

I have been challenged, convicted, and cared for.

I am thankful.

I am thankful for summer number two here in colorado bringing lessons anew and for it bringing lessons I never expected.  

God is good.  all the time.

this summer I felt pieces of myself easing back into place.  the pieces I only see when I am surrounded by people who celebrate me, not simply tolerate me.  

community is so important.

we are not meant to traverse life on our own.  

choosing the ones with whom to surround yourself is key to health, I have found.  

a good bit of my self-awareness is found in the stillness, yes.

and, as I say, so much of who I am is only revealed in the midst of those around me who choose to observe...who are my thermometers, as a dear friend once termed.

thanks to my friends this summer, I have added to my list of descriptors of who I am.  they helped me to discover hidden corners of who I am which were once unseen or forgotten.  

thank you summer family.  how blessed I am.  visit soon.

kb.

how long has it been since I mentioned my love of park benches?  this image quite literally speaks to my soul.  the sunlight shining on this resting place where reflection might take occur, where a silly, serious, or serendipitous conversation might happen, where love might be savoured...  the double arch in the distance suggests that just beyond its entry is a potential undiscovered path into a city or a retreat from the harried pace of life amongst buildings and blaring horns...  this image fills me with creativity, openness, and peace.

spring has sprung.  more aptly, summer has descended upon us here in bueni.  the masses are slowly appearing to begin their respective works in the rafting or camping industries.  with their arrival, this sleepy town begins to pulse with new life, new faces, new stories.  and this freshness enlivens me.

as I sit thinking about how life is beginning to ramp up in relational opportunity, I think of the clear intentionality the Lord puts into seasons.  how important and key to health are ebbs and flows of relational interactions with masses and few, of time inside watching snowfall and time out soaking up sunlight to warm the skin, of introspective quiet and raucous laughter over silly banter.
Ecclesiastes 3.1-8 sums it up quite nicely.  I suppose Solomon was called wise for a reason, yeah?
I have always been quite clear on which season is at the top of my list...autumn, hands down.  I hold firm to this fact, but I must say, that I have newfound respect and adoration today as I sit in the middle of spring which is fastly becoming summer.  It is simply lovely.  


Change, though at most times scary, is necessary, rejuvenating, and healthy!  
Awareness arrives within me in the midst of change.  I pray in this particular change of season that I choose said awareness, which is so readily and lovingly available from the Lord, on a daily basis.
cheers,
kb.

I believe I hijacked this picture from my friend, maxine.  it struck me as gorgeous.  why am I posting a quite snowy picture when the date speaks of spring?  well, I am not sure I know the answer to that question, entirely.  I can say that there are days that still feel like this here in colorado despite the page on the calendar.  and...I am over it.  I said this statement as I got out of my car the other day to walk into subway for a sandwich.  I said it loudly to the snow blowing due to the wind gusts and grayness that my small town was wrapped in at that moment.  frustration was at a high toward the cold temperatures that still linger here.  I know that proper spring is on the horizon, so I have taken deep breaths of mountain air and just made another cup of tea to warm my insides.  still...spring, don't be afraid, just settle in.  I assure you that you will be welcomed with open arms by all.

my word.  my last post was in march.
so, I suppose this fact tells me I could comment on quite a lot from the last month and a half.
let me have a think...
claire and maxine.
I got to pop in on these two precious girls @ wake forest at the end of march.  oh how delighted I was to see these two beautiful friends.  so fun that these two who I knew in different contexts while living in london now spend time hanging out together in north carolina.
in some ways, it was if no time had passed since I last laid eyes on them.  in other ways, I felt deeply how much I had missed just sitting and chatting with claire.  we spent so many hours just sitting, chatting from time to time...eating gummy candies, drinking diet coke, and video chatting with micaela across the city.  she and I both enjoy just being with people.  I miss her.
max and I spent most of our time together in a cabin in either bulgaria or macedonia on our yearly service projects.  speaking of, this year's project just finished.  my friends, katie and ian, got to go be a part of it this year.  katie and I sat just yesterday chatting about bulgaria over coffee.  my heart smiles to hear her take on what is always such a time full or richness for all who attend.  katie also played courier, bringing me back some go ahead bars and dark chocolate mcvitie's from kerry.  I sat in my office sharing these treats, being transported back to my city life.  a delectable blessing.
sadly, I forgot to take any pictures during my time with claire and max.  but, that time, though short, blessed my heart beyond words.
I also got to see lauren while in north carolina.  what a sweet, dear friend she has been to me for so long.  I find it difficult to explain how dear this girl is to me.  I will not even attempt a description.  she knows.  I know.  so fun to see here and her hubby patrick living their sweet young married life.  love.

love, I say?  well, I may take a minute here to boast just a bit.
adam and lana.
adam has been a friend for many years, and he and I always fail to clearly backtrack to our friendship's origin.  he is a kindred in his deep-thinking, love for english culture, and bent toward counseling.
lana became a dear friend in london.  we have arkansas ties, as well, though not when we both lived there, in the way that the world is so small and interconnected.
one day last september, lana came to pick me up from adam's house in denver.  lana and I had plans to eat thai food.  adam was being my host before I flew out for a bit of holiday.  she walked through the door.  I looked at adam.  he lit up.  she smiled.  I had an inkling of potential connection...
about three weeks ago, adam proposed.  lana accepted.  they will be married just about a year from the time they met in the afore mentioned story.  they thank me for my part in their meeting.  I accept this thanks, as I did have a hand in it, clearly.  however, just as clear is that all I did was bum a place to stay and eat pad thai.  I love that they love each other.  I adore them both, and I feel honoured to have been a blip in their story.  congrats, sweet friends!

above is the corner of my room where I spend much time reading, contemplating, writing, watching episodes of tv shows...  I don't know that I would called myself a person attracted to the colour yellow prior to purchasing this dresser from the eccentric furniture salesman who sold this to me.  however, this dresser is very much at home in my colorado room filled with an eclectic mix of colour.
having a cozy spot to retreat to has always been an important thing to me for as long as I can recall.  I made my walk-in closet into a sort of nest when I was growing up where I would sit for hours reading.  funny how we change so deeply as we age and yet we still remain who we are in so many other ways.
reminds me of a poignant statement my friend laura made to me the year before I moved overseas..."remember, wherever you go, you take yourself with you."
at times, this truth is frustrating.  many moments, however, this phrase wraps me in comfort.
for someone who needs a nest to feel safe and centered, I treasure the knowledge the Lord has revealed to me about myself that help my nest be present no matter where I am in locale.  abroad or stateside, I remain in my core, kym.  and yet, growth and stretching occur constantly.
how gracious is the Lord to allow the simultaneous presence of core and change.  I sit thankful.
peace that passes understanding.
thanks be to God that I can never figure Him out.
thanks be to God.
cheers,
kb.
oh, and yes, I did stay up all night glued to bbc america watching countless hours of the royal wedding happening live.  I enjoyed every minute of it.  lovely.
happy may!

tension |ˈten sh ən|

noun

1 the state of being stretched tight : the parachute keeps the cable under tension as it drops.

• the state of having the muscles stretched tight, esp. as causing strain or discomfort : the elimination of neck tension can relieve headaches.

• a strained state or condition resulting from forces acting in opposition to each other.

• the degree of tightness of stitches in knitting and machine sewing.

• electromotive force.

2 mental or emotional strain : a mind that is affected by stress or tension cannot think as clearly.

• a strained political or social state or relationship : the coup followed months of tension between the military and the government | racial tensions.

• a relationship between ideas or qualities with conflicting demands or implications : the basic tension between freedom and control.

verb [ trans. ]

apply a force to (something) that tends to stretch it.

my word, I love the dictionary.  a dear friend and I were contemplating life over chips and salsa that other night.  she used the above word to describe some of the feelings I was expressing.  

when I got home, I looked it up.  and, once again, webster helped provide perspective.  

life in progress seems to always have at least a bit of tension.  

for such a time as this, I am in colorado.  when the next leading becomes illuminated, I will go.  

the desire to move, to see more, to experience anew never ceases.  

the co-existing of these afore mentioned assurances holds this conflict.  

allowing the intermingling feelings of enjoying certain things and being incredibly frustrated by other things is a humbling, muscle tightening, intense journey, but I believe it to be important.  

to let go.  

to allow for unfolding.  

to feel the fullness, and to acknowledge my attempts to control are futile.  

as ever, the anchor is trust.  

kb.

what made me laugh and shake my over-thinking today...
Peter Rollins interview with Rob Bell

of course, the Irish accent helps delight my soul, if I am honest.
also, I like his thoughts and musings...makes me contemplate, laugh, and enter into introspection which enlivens me rather than exhausts.

oh how I love to discuss...
thankful for those who share this love of discovering the depth of the Love.

breathe, kym.  exist in the midst of the tension...  where tension lies, strength may develop.

People energize me.  They also exhaust me, at times, but this week, I have been energized.  

As the calendar turns to March, I find myself on the downward slope to summer.  Preparations are being made, and I look so forward to welcoming back dozens of people who will help staff our camp full of families for a crazy three months.  

Weeks like this past one remind me why doing YL in Arkansas and London suited me so well.  I love people with all their depth, silliness, care, intentionality, affirmation, and conversation.  I laughed a lot this past week.  I got to listen.  I got to observe.  I remembered.  I got to help people.  

I am thankful.  

With these influxes of new and old friends, I find myself being cared for and asked to tell bits of my story.  A common question is always, "How long do you think you will be here?".  I find that question interesting, as truly almost every person who inquires about me to any depth brings up this point.  

I know not the answer.  My response is most often that I have seen no other leading today, so I am here for now.  

I do feel a bit more settled here.  I feel I have let go of many things even in the past few weeks that allow me to feel less stubborn and frustrated in regard to those unanswered questions that still reside in my day-to-day.  The question marks have not departed, but I do feel a deeper freedom, if that makes any sense at all.  

Being thankful for moments is my challenge and hope for today and the days in the near future.  Living in the present, in the facts, in the reality of True leading and not in my own plan or prediction.  

kb.

mid-january twenty eleven, I sit thankful.
the Lord has chosen to do so much in my life over the past year.
I am a year and a half home from london.  today, someone new asked me questions about my time there, and I found myself just as excited and prone to get lost in memories as I was in the fall of 2006 when I landed on english soil.  to me, pure blessing abounds in speaking of that home.

last year, I moved to colorado, where I currently reside and started working in a lodge nestled in majestic mountains.  the beauty, which each day has a different hue, shade, and structure, is beyond description.
my work calls me to serve, to laugh, to listen, to problem-solve, to engage with people, to organize, to pray, to adapt and flex, to be humbled, to rest, to play...
last year, I was given the experience of peace...the awareness of my opportunity to choose peace...the clarity to discern where peace resides and where it does not.
last year, I was both a barista and a tumbling teacher.
claire and micaela graduated from high school and began university in the states, bringing us back to the same continent.
last year, I spent my first holidays away from arkansas and relied on technology to transport me to my parents' living room.
last year, I got a puppy called charlie.

this year, I sit in anticipation of what is on the horizon.  though I am not quite ready for summer to arrive, I find myself eager for its arrival, as it will bring the heart and soul of our lodge back to life...
families arrive.  friends return.
I continue to strive toward health in this new year.  a few goals have been set that I truly feel can be achieved.  my head feels clear and able to tackle said ambitions.  I am thankful.
no need to go into great detail here today.  just noting.

I will end here with a last note of the latest happening of this january that has just begun.
charlie moved to chicago.  the best move for him.  the best move for me.  (see snap below of charlie and austin, his new owner, who is completely enamoured by charlies' charms)
in deciding to send charlie to live with heather's (one of my housemates) cousins, I have regained freedom and my afore mentioned clarity of mind.  my hope is that I use this time, space, and lucidity for my ongoing pursuit of health, as directed by the Lord for my time in colorado and beyond.

thankful.  utterly thankful.  happy 2011.  :)
cheers,
kb.