tomorrow is opening day at fenway.  today we are having some friends over with their kids to begin what their family is calling the 'summer of sox'.  it is time the kids learn the magic of baseball and specifically the love of the red sox.  so, stacey is currently making visual aids (a depth chart that should be laminated and used by john farrell himself in his dugout chats with the team.

just as I was moving from colorado to boston, a friend and I were doing some thrifting, like I do, and what did I happen upon, giving me yet another indication that I was making proper plans for my next move?

so, I am ready for the season.
dandy, I don't know if you still read this from time to time, but what I wouldn't give to still have that worn in sox hat of yours.  though I love this one, there is nothing like a beaten up cap, as we well know.

and with that...

GO SOX!

happy weekend!

kb.

yes.

{photo via feefeern.tumblr.com}

I get to start my new job on monday.
my heart is full of delight.

happy weekend!
kb.

{photo courtesy of:  www.whattodoboston.com}

today (yes, today-once a YL leader, always a YL leader),
I got a job.
a full-time, benefits provided, job.
thanks be to God.

my quest for a regular 'something' to pay my bills and provide a predictable financial existence began long before my move to new england.  I have applied for loads of postings, ads, and listings.  a little over six months later...
today, I received an offer.
and, I accepted.

I begin work in a little over a week, and life will ease into a more consistent routine.
I will know how to plan life in the fiscal and the friend aspects.  it is still surreal.
wow, am I thankful.
breathing deep.
smiling spontaneously.
breathing deep.

God is...
good.
faithful.
intentional.
personal.
timely.
loving.
all. the. time.

happy weekend, friends!
cheers,
kb.

sunday surmisings...

the last post of a movie poster may have been brief, but it was purposeful.  I stumbled upon this film on netflix the other week and decided to give it a go.  I knew it was of the independent nature and likely contained real life story, drama, and potentially an ending that did not end leaving me warm and fuzzy.
I adore this type of film.
truly, I do.

the uncertainty.
the authenticity.
the quiet.
the unfinished.
much like real life, they seem to be at times.
they cause me to feel.
to contemplate.
most times, I am inspired to create:  write, play my guitar, read, etc.

however, I also know myself fairly well.

I have learned that I need to choose the proper time of day and state of being to watch said genre in order to gain the maximum depth, poignancy, and...well, maintain health.

this one ended happily, in fact.  and it has been added to a list of my favourites.

context is deeply important to our preferences, I find.  perhaps this film with its simplicity, struggle, and situation creates a connection to my current state due to similarities shared.

my dad and I have chatted numerous times on the topic of sharing one's passions/preferences with others.
you read a book and then feel a compulsion to buy 25 copies to pass out to your friends, completely assured that just as this author has reshaped your thinking about a topic or deeply affirmed your belief system, he will absolutely do the same for all the people you know.
you hear a song that elates you or moves you to tears with meaning and you post the video in 15 friends' inboxes telling them they must listen, feeling certain the same emotions will be emitted from your intimates who align with you so frequently in their inklings.

and then...
no one comments.
no one affirms.
no one shares your opinion.

in the words of my friend, stacey, "WHHHAAAAT?!"

how on EARTH could you have NOT been affected in the same profound way as I?

the afternoon has found me watching various TEDtalks.  I could literally sit for hours soaking up so many of these informative videos.
one I just finished pertained to storytelling, one of my absolute favourite pastimes.  stories impact and impress upon us largely based on context, yes?  if we do not feel a connection to the tale due to a commonality or a general liking toward the teller, we tune out.  or at least I do.

have you seen the movie, 'catch and release'?
the plot follows jennifer garner and timothy olyphant (or their characters, gray and fritz, rather) in their slow, tumultuous, and unlikely building of intimacy.

one scene depicts them making a late night snack in the kitchen.
gray asks fritz if he has ever been close to getting married.
he replies in the negative.
she then asks, "aren't you lonely?"
fritz:  "right now?... no."
gray:  "no, I mean, in general.  who do you tell your stories to?"
fritz:  "I guess I keep them to myself."
gray:  "that's a tragedy."
fritz:  "wanna hear a story?  I got a good one.  guy goes to a funeral..."

this small interchange speaks volumes.  as a female, I innately understand gray's perspective and line of questioning.  fritz's language both verbal and non, speaks to how this newfound affinity toward gray makes storytelling more appealing, important, if not compulsory.

context matters in connection.

so, I suppose all of this musing helps me come to grips with my impact filled, life-changing encounters with music, writing, film, etc. not shaking the earth of every person with whom I am acquainted.
in fact, in some ways it adds to its uniqueness.  to my uniqueness.
just my frame of reference.
or I guess I could say, my context.

so, I hope you watch 'the giant mechanical man' and enjoy it.
but if you don't do either?
ok.
and...if you watch it, like it, and want to analyze all of its charms, let me know.  haha.

living in the south and perhaps more notably, in the YL leadership community, one gets in the habit of "sharing your story" within the first 10 minutes of meeting a new person.  ok, that timeframe of divulgence is not always so short, but honestly, you would be surprised (or maybe you wouldn't depending on your own story) how often this has happened to me.
my feeling about this seemingly automatic vulnerability span the spectrum from
'I don't even remember your name.  why would I give you insights into my soul?' to 'it feels so refreshing to be able to open up and share', and every spot in between these two extremes.

new england feels a bit more like jolly ol' england, to me.
seems apropos, yes?
I mean to say, the expectation I have formed over the years of 'nice to meet you. here is my biography...' in most social settings is highly uncommon in my recent interactions.  and, I like it.
I feel I can breathe into the silence and small talk.
bite sized pieces contributes to my health in a positive way.

I find people lately to be authentic, forthcoming, and mysterious.
my brain and heart are engaged.
I like it.
people are full of shyness, walls, vulnerability, passion, wit, and character.
these attributes showing themselves bit by bit helps me develop patience, perseverance, and poignant encounters.
people are so unique.
and in general, we are the same.
"the same, but a bit different."
part of the country, nationality, community, etc. all influence us.
we are, and continue to be, a compilation of what we are taught and what we have caught in our specific and varied narratives.

such a lovely, tragic, dynamic, multi-layered story, humanity is.

I strive to appreciate and breathe into what one poet describes life to be...
"a beautiful mess".

cheers,
kb.

{picture taken by @halfadams}

lovely.

be yourself.

often we want to be somewhere other than where we are, or even to be someone other than who we are.  we tend to compare ourselves constantly with others and wonder why we are not as rich, as intelligent, as simple, as generous, or as saintly as they are.  such comparisons make us feel guilty, ashamed, or jealous.  it is very important to realize that our vocation is hidden in where we are and who we are.  we are unique human beings, each with a call to realize in life what nobody else can, and to realize it in the concrete context of the here and now.

we will never find our vocations by trying to figure out whether we are better or worse than others.  we are good enough to do what we are called to do.  be yourself!

~henri nouwen

years ago, my friend and mentor, mike connected me with a daily meditation email list to the above author.  mr. nouwen's foundation sends bite-sized food for thought to those who subscribe.  I am constantly blessed by quickly ingesting these wise words from a man who had such great insight and faith.

do you ever have moments when you feel like you have been awoken in your spirit?  times when you may not have even known you were asleep or simply going through the motions of work or relationship?
this week I have had a few of said moments, and I thought of this afore quoted meditation.  when those moments strike, I feel like, well...
myself.
I feel I am the best version of me.
like I am using my gifts.
like human connection and kindness is occurring.

a clarifying feeling.
joy.
vulnerability.

and, I stop.
I stop because I am struck with the absolute assurance that these moments are beyond me.
these encounters are supernatural, poignant, important, and life-infusing.

again, the most beautiful, intimate awareness I possess at these instances is that I am being...
me.
the best version of me.
not someone else or someone utterly unrecognizable to my inner.
me.

perhaps the most heartwarming, life-altering, intense, precious, loving, tender, sweet, personal part of the gospel to me is that the Lord is working to make me an improved version of me.
I believe He created me.  I also believe He is incapable of making mistakes.
(rom. 9.20-I remember this verse shaking me to my core one day when I first read it in college.  yipes!)

I try and try.
I aspire and plan.
I beat myself up when I feel I have missed the mark.

when I breathe and simply show up, beautiful moments occur.

I pray your week is full of 'being yourself' moments.
as longing to be the best, deepest version of you is the proper outlook, in my opinion.

cheers,
kb.

I completely swiped this photo from my friend, brendan's fb page the other day after the blizzard.  all things coated in a deep layer of snow seems to have become our "normal" in days current.  I like it.  it feels like winter.
it is february, after all.  feels like snow is meant to be all around.
and, so it is.

steps have been taken in my quest to attain my advanced degree in the last week, so I feel accomplished in a way.
friends.  I have them here now.
work continues to be steady with hours (*a.k.a. dosh, $, cash, bob) at times, and then, said provision utterly plummets into a nose dive threatening certain catastrophe.  each time this cycle begins, my anxiousness rises.
have I lived in this reality of financial ups and downs before?
HA!
more times than not, in my adult life, I have prayed for the next paycheck to arrive to sustain life as I know it.  but, I will say, that just because one has experienced something, does NOT make this battle being fought again bruise-free.

refine.  (remove impurities or unwanted elements; improve by making small changes.)
re= again.
fine= of high quality.

yes, I see.
the next image I conjure up is one of "refiner's fire".
sometimes, it hurts.

kb.

last night, some friends and I went to a show at a club called the paradise, here in boston (very near the bu campus).  it is a wicked cool small, historic venue that I will definitely return to at my earliest convenience to see performers I love to hear play live.
this particular show's line up looked like this...

"To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire,g help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire, and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery."     (http://www.twloha.com/faq/).


 


if you have a minute, take a look at this organization.  as I say, it is new to me, but from everything I read and see about it, I am so thankful it exists.  I love when people take an experience from their own lives and find a way to love on other people with it and through it.  
community.
humanity.
love.
compassion.
support.

inspirational and a jolt of positivity to my spirit. 
people loving other people and allowing each other to be broken, authentic, and honest.  
refreshing.  

happy weekend!
cheers,
kb.

happy fourteenth of february.  

this short film made me smile.  

I love...

the simplicity.

the black and white.

the lack of words.

the purity. 

paperman.

{courtesy of hulu.com/Disney}

cheers,
kb.

so today I find myself sitting in starbucks trying to busy myself away from the house, as my landlord is doing a bit of refurb on our bathroom.  we found out this was his plan last night around 8 p.m.  the message was that he and his son-in-law (our next door neighbour) would be in the bathroom all day from 9 a.m. onward working. "so move out all that you do not want to get messed up", he said.
ok.
my level of annoyance at this prospect has been childish today, I admit.  I am battling a cold, and for some reason my right eye decided to be irritated this morning which adds a nice visual to my sniffling, throat-clearing, dry coughing charm I am sporting.  all I really wanted to do today was have a lie-in and then watch tv on the couch.  oh, and I bought myself a queen-sized bed the other week.  you may remember from my earlier pictures of my room that I had a twin bed.  I was trying to be cost efficient.

rubbish.  a ridiculous decision.  my life has changed.  sleep is important.

instead, I am sat at my local bucks typing this and catching up on blogs I have not read in quite awhile. I, like many others, have a list on the side of this electronic journal of others I like to peruse when I have the time.  this morning, I have revisited meg fee.  she is a single girl who lives in new york city.
from the entries I have read, I believe she may be an actress (talk of a play she is doing, my clue), but regardless of her profession, she is quite a writer and has a keen eye for chronicling her life via photo, as well.  as I say, I do not read her thoughts daily, but this morning, in my pit of annoyance that I am actively working to crawl out of, I decided to breathe and read about someone else.
seems to be making me feel a touch better, not to mention just thinking about something other than me.
you might enjoy reading this entry I have linked, as well as her others.

jazz music blares out of the speaker just above my head.  I look up across this crowded davis square cafe' and see joel, the pastor of the church I have begun to call home.  it is called reunion, and it meets in the local movie theatre here in d square.
I love it.  the music is acoustic, the style of my spirit.  we sit in movie seats.  when we leave service, the concession stand is already popping popcorn for the first afternoon matinee.  it is brilliant.
I also have gone a couple of weeks to a small group and literally leave each time chuckling at how much I enjoy people.  my eyes smile afterward.

how many days I spent in a bucks while doing full-time young life work.  it was my second home.  I am transported back this morning.  and, I chuckle to myself knowingly when I see the local minister sitting just across the way working on his laptop, no doubt working on a talk, checking emails, and waiting for someone to meet him for coffee, all simultaneously.
yes, I miss it.
would I choose to be on staff here and now?  no.
yes, I miss it.

january is wicked cold here in new england.  I am not sharing that information in a state of shock but rather because it is a fact that encircles life at the moment.  everyone's car is covered in a white haze of road salt.  my windshield washer fluid notification light will not cease to indicate it needs attention on my dash no matter how much I incessantly fill it.  the air is drier than dry in my house with the heat going so steady.
it is cold.  and a different cold than colorado cold.
but, as I heard on the radio the other morning in response to someone who was going on and on about the low temperatures, "it is winter!".  well said.  winter is meant to be cold.
I am thankful for seasons.
my next task for this day away from the house may be a target run for a humidifier.

hope the week is going well for you.
cheers,
kb.

rhythm.
firstly, this is one difficult word to spell.  thus evidenced by a recent episode of new girl when nick finally completes his zombie novel.  (my word, that show makes me laugh.)

this particular image of notation to the left is meant to be the rhythm to which poetry is to be read.

as a person who is so influenced and impressed upon by her surroundings, I find myself in a constant quest to find the "proper" rhythm and tempo which leads to health for me.

of course, this need is more acute in new situations (such as moving to a new city).  I find comfort in falling into other people's rhythms at times.  I tend to lean into their pace, however fast, medium, or slow, and live there until it suits me no more.  being single certainly adds to the challenge of maintaining a consistent pace, I feel.  with no "other half" to be a constant in this chaotic life, the beat fluctuates often.

I find myself today wanting to be more aware and mindful of how to assert myself (not in a militant way, just simply by being vocal) to find a cadence which suits me.  to break away from the pack or jump out of the stream to stop and chat or to sip a cup of coffee rather than just following along.
my word, this act of standing in my own stead is a challenge for me.  it takes loads of psyching myself up, not to mention boldness in my spoken decision to take care of myself rather than just go with the flow.

how ironic is my personality.
wow.
deeply, I often think.
to love people with such amazing intensity and to at the same moment to be hesitant to engage in connection.
the shy connector.  maybe this is my superhero name.  {chuckle, chuckle}

community is beginning to build slowly for me here in boston.
I am thankful and full of hope.
may I learn to lean in when I feel compelled.
may I learn to let others have the rhythm they choose and not feel obligated to join.
may the Lord bless the tiny steps I find the courage to take with depth of connection and familiarity.

happy sunday, friends.
I hope the long holiday weekend brings you rest.
cheers,
kb.

I just saw my friend, cj, on the news!  a video she starred in has gone viral.
her boyfriend, who is a musician and clearly holds talents in other creative fields is getting much notice lately.
brilliant!
sweet cj was one of my ASL girls when I lived in london.  her little sister, harley, was a wyldlife kids, as well.  love the williamsons!
whether graduating now or remembering the feeling in years past, you will relate...

les mis parody...

way to go, ceej!

enjoy!

kb.

new year's eve (NYE).  

at the moment, I am watching season 1 of new girl from my dvd received last week this time.  

stacey (my roommate and giver of said hilarity) and I have laughed so hard remembering these past episodes.  this show is my new 'friends'. both of these sitcoms hold up for me and can be watched again and again.  

truly.  the quotables and the ridiculousness that helps me escape real life and turn off my brain.  

oh. my. word.  

so so good.  it also reminds me of a community I once had.  the dynamic is not identical, of course, but the interactions between close friends, most specifically guy dynamic is so deeply funny and familiar.  

we started a new tradition of taking down all the ornaments off the tree and simply leaving the white lights to ring in the new year.  my friend, erin, gets the props for this idea.  traditions...sigh, lovely.

when harry met sally (always watch on NYE. #tradition) is soon to be popped into the dvd player, and I will choose to stay in this "first night" (as they call it in beantown), as a cathartic alternative to being in the cold ringing in with the masses elsewhere.  perhaps next year I will venture in to see the giant ice sculptures and listen to live music.  tonight, I am content here.  and, thankful... 

thankful that my friend, sarah, in austin, appears to be on the upswing.  

thankful that my friend, karlie, has only a sore back from a very scary car accident yesterday.

thankful for life, health, and friends.

speaking of art that holds up, as ever david gray playing on my shuffle on the drive home from work today made me want to write this post.  even when I rotate the vast library of david off of my music mix, I leave a handful of dg as a fixture.  this song is one of those staples... have a listen.

'new horizons', david gray.     

(lyrics below for those of you who like to read along and remember the days of tape/cd jackets.)

Weight on my shoulders
But I'm walking so tall
Out into the new horizon
Wonder in everything
No matter how great or small
Howlin' like the midnight
Howlin' like the midnight sun
And this ain't no pale reflection
This is the real thing
New horizon
New horizon within

And your heart ain't yours to control
No matter how tight the reigns
Love will find it's own direction
A time to reap, a time to sow
And many a time to cry in vain
But now the time to celebrate 
The glory of this imperfection
Same thing that's scrawled across the stars
Is written under our skin
New horizon 
New horizon within

Things come too easy, I get suspicious
Things come too slow, I get bored
If it don't work out I get superstitious
But if it does, oh my word

So I'm gathering all the remnants of beauty
From this wilderness in spin
And now I'm gonna light my own flame
'cause I'm charged with the radiance of the dawn
That's been so long breaking
Now there ain't nowhere
There ain't nowhere I won't write your name
There's a time to search for understanding
Sometime you just gotta sing
New horizon
New horizon within

Baby there's no need to get precious
When you know that everything must change
Complacency, it can be so vicious
Turn this love into a cage

Same thing that's scrawled across the stars
Is written under our skin
New horizon 
New horizon within.

today this song seemed apt. hope you enjoy.

within this twenty thirteen 1st january and 31st december...
I hope to find myself in grad school at some point this year.
I hope to be employed by a university.
I hope to live in the midst of a community of people with whom I do life--knowing them and being known by them.
I hope to know boston better and have attended multiple sporting events involving celts and sawks.

just a few hopes of the top of my head.
most of all, I will choose to hope.
may your new year be blessed with life, love, and other mysteries.
(if you start singing when you read that...well, you are welcome.  this phrase just stayed in my head in the early nineties, what can I say?  haha.)

cheers,
kb.

ridiculous.

I love it.
happy weekend!
kb.

{credit: wendellcole.tumblr.com}

go.

oftentimes, I find myself needing to be told to move.  I have a tendency to sit still in physicality and to move at a ridiculously speedy pace within my mind. 

I do not have to work to think.  it happens as I breathe.

one of the reasons I love city life lies in the absolute essentiality of physical motion.  I find challenges on a daily basis that humble, stretch, and alter me.  

some who I hold dear do not understand the love I carry so deeply for a metropolis.  

what I have discovered during my endless processing sessions is how the heartbeat of a city with all of its hidden virtues, array of accents, and urban realities feeds my hunger for knowledge, thinking, discovery, and story.  

I love hearing people's stories which exist in such contrast to experiences I have had in my own. and yet, we can still connect in some way, even if it is only in the commonality of city life and handling all of its beauty and woes.  

it is good for me to walk into an unknown situation on a daily basis.  my brain stays awake and my character deepens as I face fears and am moved to persevere.  *romans 5.4 pops into my mind, and thereby I am led to another utterly crucial element for authentic living for me:  

Scripture, the Bible, the Word.  

these words, sentences, and paragraphs that to some are simply words written in quite an old book that I learned as a little kiddo in church and in my home began to be poignant and functional in a very unique way when I moved into a city.  I had a need for a spot to *anchor in such a literal sea of chaos that life in a crowded, noisy, building-filled place holds, that of which I had never been previously aware.

I remember sitting at an outdoor table at my st. john's wood starbucks one afternoon with my friends, whitney, courtney, micaela, and claire talking about Scripture.  the question arose about whether reading the Bible had real life application.  

at times when I have one of those "city moments", I think about that conversation.  

do I have faith in what I say I do?  in Who I say I do? 

is the book significant?  or just a book? 

and then, I move (or go) once more.  

faith is in my feet.  

not in my head, in my thoughts, or in my analyzations.  

in my steps, endeavours, and activities.  

I believe the initial light bulb moment of all these earlier enlightenments in this post happened during my time living overseas in my initial encounter with life so different than all years prior.  

I hear myself often describing london as a TRULY foreign experience, in every way.

my time in the mountains brought with it exploration of peace and true community.  

I had the gift of sweet friendships and loads of quiet time to see a healthier way to navigate engagement and retreat.  

for me, the quest is allowing this continuous processing/analyzing in my head to link together with the "go-ing"to hopefully find myself living an authentic, honest, deep, joyful, peace-filled existence in the present moment.  taking it all in, moving ahead, remembering/celebrating victories, regretting nothing, and seeing/believing the Hand upon it all.  

I find myself now in boston, in my second urban home, finding consistency in *Truth once again, in a very real, applicable, day-to-day way that brings with it beauty, humility, and intimacy.  

lessons mentioned here are simply my story. 

you may acquire/have acquired realizations of what rhythm grounds you in an urban, suburban, or rural setting.  none is better than another.  

life is such an intensely personal endeavour.  

thanks be to God.  

were it general and blanket...?

well, the word that comes to mind is dull.  

have you ever watched inside the actor's studio with james lipton?  it is shown on the bravo channel.  this show is brilliant to me, largely because james walks the actor on stage through their story, asking them questions about their career ultimately, but clearly their personal journey is interwoven in defining their acting skills.  today, I watched two we had tivo'ed (truly one of the best inventions ever.):  liam neeson and eddie murphy.  

james made a comment that struck me.  he was speaking about something in the world of acting.

I see it applying to city life for me. (this cannot be separated from that city having been abroad, as well.)

when I moved to london, my first city..."it is like a door has opened.  it will never close."  

I am changed, broadened, impacted, impressed upon, deepened...

what experiences in your life have altered your perspective and given you more corners in the box you previously inhabited?  most likely those corners frequently appear when you have transitioned from one thing to another, from one state of being to another, or from one place to another.  

(another common human connection point.) 

goodness, I am thankful. and blessed.

laura, thank you for asking me lead little ones back in the day for so many sweet reasons.  

the one, I find myself remember today (and SO often) is this verse in the form of a song...

"be strong and courageous. do not be terrified. do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you... (duet.31.6).  *anchor point. 

ok, and something light and seriously smart in humour...

please tell me you watch this show.  it makes me laugh so hard.  so much so that I need to watch each episode multiple times to ensure I hear all the quips.  this link is a classic moment of absurd funny.

nick and schmidt.

happy november.

kb.

welcome to autumn!  the weather outside today here in boston is cloudy and cold in typical new england fashion.  we are holding out as long as humanly possible to turn on the heat, so I am sipping endless cups of coffee and donning a hoodie today on my day off.  for any of you who know me at all, you know that makes me miserable.  ahhh...october.  deep smiles.  

home is shaping up bit by bit.  yesterday I recieved my official massachusetts driver's license, making me now someone who has a valid form of identification stating MA residency.  very nice.

my room has shaped up to be a lovely place I like to inhabit thanks to a bit of time, some old favourites, a bit of creativity, and my j.crew store closing down and allowing those of us it employed to snag a few items that were not going to be transferred to the new store. (see ladder, chair, and blue ottoman)

my friend, erin, is quite keen on ladders lately (we.fancy.that.).  I share her fondness.  this ladder is my highlight of my nesting in boston thus far!

my room is sort of an interesting one, in that it has two doors.  as you ascend the entry stairs, one door is immediately to your right (the one nearest the large framed mirror).  directly across from that door is another (the one near the bookshelves) that goes into the corridor near the bathroom. 

so, if you so desired, you could use my room as a cut-through to get to the kitchen.  sort of weird, I suppose, but I love its uniqueness.  quirky allows for creativity.   

some different angles of my nest, you shall see below...

now, plan a visit!  the guest room is just across the staircase from my room.  ready and waiting!

on a random note, I am avoiding news and way too many political adverts today by playing movies in the background of my laundry/sorting out life day.  

an old fave now playing in my living room you might dig up for a good laugh...

happy october all!

kb

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

so, tonight I got to reunite with this girl.  we live in the same city once more, and my heart is happy.
she is one of my all-time favourites.
I am thankful.
boston keeps getting better by the day.
thanks be to God.
cheers,
kb.

 my welcome to my new boston home from my new roommate, stacey.

 pictorial snapshot of my story for my j. crew sales assoc. training.

an addition I made this summer which is helping in this transitional time... 

 continue to take steps.  not leaps, for me.  

steps.

stopping to see the sunset out my upstairs apartment window...

the fourth week of my new boston residing is in swing.  my room gets cozier every couple of days, as I continue to piece together my nest here.  a rug, large framed mirror, and floor lamp, my recent additions.  seeing them in their spots brings a smile to my face each time I walk in.  

went to my first dinner party (with new friends of mine, not alongside my roommate) this past weekend, and I may have over thanked christina and alessandro for their hospitality with texts and thank you note.  but, it was lovely. and I needed to express that.  haha.  

connections made through my sweet friend, abby, from trail west.  

the list for properly getting settled in still has a few items on it, like changing over my license, tags, and insurance, but giant steps have been made to make me more of a resident and less a visitor.  

I have even navigated a handful of driving journeys sans GPS in recent days.  believe me when I say, this is NO small feat.  

this transition is real.  I feel myself needing to relax my shoulders and remind myself to breathe often.  however, the haze is clearer than it has been for me in the past in times of change.  

and for this fact, I am thankful. 

I am more present than before when I have first moved to a new locale.  

I am still humbled over and over and over, ad nauseam, I assure you.  

and at the same moment, I rejoice in the victories that appear so often.  

I am thankful for that awareness that I can only explain as "more than I can ask or imagine".

thanks be to God.  

I pray the fall is beginning wherever you are today.  the temperature has cooled here, and my spirit is full of joy.  so much that I am thinking of following in my friend, lana's, footsteps in making 

dark chocolate chip pumpkin cookies.  http://tothesoulofeverything.tumblr.com/

cheers and blessings,

kb.

in boston, I now reside...

more details about my travel across the country, the friends I popped in on, and the stories/memories made soon...

until then, I'll be here...

cheers,
kb.

this week I pack up my cozy little nest off hwy 361 in buena vista, co.  I do have a proper house number, but it seems fitting to describe its location rather than spell out a mailing address.  this little town is so landmark oriented, laden with dirt roads, forks in the road, hiking trails, tumbleweeds, and even a water tower you can climb up on if you disregard the "no trespassing" signs that surround it.
do you have a visual of the town in sweet home alabama?  I do.
this sleepy town has been such a place of replenishment and retreat.

I have made new lifelong friendships.
I have learned lessons I will not soon forget.
I have experienced peace like a river.
I have weathered storms full of literal and symbolic 75 mph winds.
I have discovered a better rhythm for myself in life.
I have learned lessons in accepting grace and pursuing peace.
I have been taught to stay clear and to stay Close.
I have experienced the deep, vast difference between ministry and community and the need for both.

and that list only scratches the surface of things discovered and revealed.  I could tell stories about each of those above for days.
I am changed by all of my experiences and encounters here in colorado.

I am the same, but a bit different.

hmmm...yes. 

I made myself smile at discovering that truth above as I truly found those words as I was typing.  

my time at trail west ended with a handful of bumps in the road that surprised me. my health has so deeply increased during this past couple of years, that all the emotions of hurt, frustration, confusion, anger, and utter dumbfoundedness, caught me off guard.  over the past month, I began to question if I would still be able to leave this chapter feeling healthy in the midst of such deep hurt.  

as the emotions progress and I continue to navigate this broken situation, the Lord is revealing that health and hurt are not mutually exclusive.  this statement may seem an obvious one, but when your heart leads you as mine does more times than not, it takes me a time of processing to allow my brain to kick in and help me anchor to fact and truth.  

my biggest fear in all the drama having gone on (and seemingly continuing) at trail west, a place so dear to me and so many others, has been that we as individuals who work there (my sweet tw friends) would lose ourselves in the midst of all the unknown.  that we would forget our "names".  

my dear friend, beth, encouraged me with this verse not long ago, and it now is framed in my line of sight in my house...  

for in Him we live and move and have our being.  acts 17.28.

oh how often in the recent weeks reading these words, I have felt encouraged.  if we look to anyone else to root us in significance or love, we are left feeling a sense of lack.  never underestimate what an encouragement can mean to someone.  in the moment and in the moments to follow for "a time such as this".  we are a body of many parts, and we need each other to stay healthy.  

I leave here in less than a week, most likely friday, to begin the trek across the country in my jetta.  

it will be sad to leave.  

I will love the travel and the people I will get to visit along the way.  

difficult.  

healthy.

faith is in my feet.

cheers,

kb.

(oh, this video at the top?  a quick visual of how fun this summer community of mine is... so so good!)