rhythm.
firstly, this is one difficult word to spell.  thus evidenced by a recent episode of new girl when nick finally completes his zombie novel.  (my word, that show makes me laugh.)

this particular image of notation to the left is meant to be the rhythm to which poetry is to be read.

as a person who is so influenced and impressed upon by her surroundings, I find myself in a constant quest to find the "proper" rhythm and tempo which leads to health for me.

of course, this need is more acute in new situations (such as moving to a new city).  I find comfort in falling into other people's rhythms at times.  I tend to lean into their pace, however fast, medium, or slow, and live there until it suits me no more.  being single certainly adds to the challenge of maintaining a consistent pace, I feel.  with no "other half" to be a constant in this chaotic life, the beat fluctuates often.

I find myself today wanting to be more aware and mindful of how to assert myself (not in a militant way, just simply by being vocal) to find a cadence which suits me.  to break away from the pack or jump out of the stream to stop and chat or to sip a cup of coffee rather than just following along.
my word, this act of standing in my own stead is a challenge for me.  it takes loads of psyching myself up, not to mention boldness in my spoken decision to take care of myself rather than just go with the flow.

how ironic is my personality.
wow.
deeply, I often think.
to love people with such amazing intensity and to at the same moment to be hesitant to engage in connection.
the shy connector.  maybe this is my superhero name.  {chuckle, chuckle}

community is beginning to build slowly for me here in boston.
I am thankful and full of hope.
may I learn to lean in when I feel compelled.
may I learn to let others have the rhythm they choose and not feel obligated to join.
may the Lord bless the tiny steps I find the courage to take with depth of connection and familiarity.

happy sunday, friends.
I hope the long holiday weekend brings you rest.
cheers,
kb.