with..

a common denominator of utter joy.  

and now, at times...

a sadness and loss for me.

my gifting, the thing I do which invigorates my spirit is “with”.

I show up.  

I make space.

I welcome in.

sometimes, certainly, I isolate for a time due to fear or frustration or loss which can often be for my betterment for self-care, but where I am my best is "with", 

alongside.

“we don’t know exactly why or exactly what you have done (or do currently), but we know this place feels better with you with us.”   

I love hearing this statement at work.  when I hear it, I know I am being who I am made to be.

now, obviously, some tangibles must be known from my employers and from myself about the “whats” of my job, but the base, the foundation, the rooting of the space I am within, the space I create intentionally, the space that I fiercely protect…

the essence…

lies in the 

with.

ok, some *definitions of these prepositions which are objects of my affection...

with:  in the company of; accompanied by  

alongside:  close to the side of; together and in cooperation with; in coexistence with

preposition:  a word expressing a relation to another word (simplified kb definition.)

*definition:  meant to be a base not a box (kb definition for myself)

in my english grammar lessons I have always been taught that is is improper to end a sentence with a preposition.  after doing a bit of research, I have learned that this comes from the structure of the latin language.  others argue, , apparently even famed orator and writer winston churchill, that not allowing prepositions to end sentences sounds quite awkward.  

in spoken english, I would absolutely agree with him.  

speaking in such a way can potentially cause one to sound quite haughty and pretentious thus creating more of a gap between those with whom we relate rather than creating a connecting point. 

as I see more of a view into this grammatical window and expanded context, for the sake of my current metaphor, I like the option of the preposition being placed either before or after the noun with which it is associated.  

with and alongside do not hold boundaries which indicate before or after necessarily, in my mind.  

they exist in the midst, in the middle of, in coexistence.

in the words of a favourite person of mine, this may be a digression, but one that I found interesting. 

as many of you know, my fascination for words is endless, and going back to the source of definition helps me to root and reorient myself.  

why do these waves of melancholy wash over, in particular, for me personally, these days?

and today, as I was walking around my neighbourhood, listening to a podcast from one of my favourite wise, british teachers, I found a particular source of this sadness and lament.

I miss the 

"with".

deeply.

my instincts, senses, insights work better 

with presence, 

with being there, 

with showing up, 

with coexisting, 

with accompanying, 

with attending, 

with being a companion, 

with partnering.

I have strategically shaped my work life to center around this space of joy for me, and with the virus, the confinement, the fears, the summer season, etc. I feel the lack acutely.

the difference in this season of our lives is that we are not sure when “the with” will return and when it does, how it will look.  

new strategies and tactics abound as experts and educators scramble and study ways to maintain our connections from safe distances.  

I watch webinars and read new articles every day which have excellent recommendations for new tools and tricks, and I will use many of them when school resumes, I am sure.  (I am so thankful that others have passion for sorting out these new tricks of the trade.  I will be honest and say, I do not enjoy needing to create so much new.)

I suppose, for me, I have just needed to acknowledge where the root of the lament lies.  

I need to know for me before I can engage in helping others think through and identify where their loss and sadness sits.  

in order for my “with” whether virtual or physical, to be authentic, I have to be actively present with myself in honest conversation.  

I hope the week is ok for all of you.  

we are certainly all in the midst of a daily quest to take care of ourselves and our loved ones as we navigate this still surreal season of our lives.

may you have peace today in ways that utterly surprise and delight you.

-kb.

(pictured below:  one of my favourite humans to be with... my niece, izzy.)