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I find myself striving lately to believe the above statement.  I know it to be true.
I claim it.
but sometimes it takes tremendous effort to just...

breathe.

I rush around, in my spirit, even if not in action.  I feel hurried.  and then, when I stop to think about how "busy" I am, I realise the reality of my situation is actually quite unhurried.  

where is it I am figuratively, mentally rushing to and from?  and why?

I definitely have some notions and awareness about the whys.  sure, I do.  I cannot help but get to the bottom of "where does that come from?"to allow me to feel centered.  

I will leave those moments of understanding in my own head, but I will say that I remember in this state of being that love is a choice.  I need to choose to believe what I know to be truth.  

clearly this past couple weeks here in boston have added a heaviness to my heart.
I was meant to have been at the marathon with some friends, who were sitting
10 feet from where one of the bombs went off.
had it not been for a sinus headache,
I would have seen what they saw...
horrific scenes that I will not be vivid about here... delicately put?  a war zone.

then, that friday in the wee hours of the morning, a manhunt began in my city.
a surreal unfolding of events... murder, carjacking, a narrow escape, car chases,
a shootout, a city-wide lockdown, more explosions and gunshots, and finally a citizen's sharp eye leading to a capture.
the parking lot where the police set up their makeshift headquarters is where I got my MA driver's license and at times go to target.  the house on franklin street where suspect #2 was found is within sight of the main road I drive every day on my commute to work.  the front door of one of my bosses' house has bullet holes in it from the shootout.

so, I am giving myself grace in my already challenging task of mentally slowing in light of the events of recent days.

life is moving onward here in boston, and I love this city even more every day.
I truly do.

recently, my enjoyment of "sport" has returned.  now living in a city where pride exudes for so many professional teams, I find myself engaging in the fanfare.
I knew I would become a red sox fan straight away.  no question in my mind.
but it also turns out I am finding I have an affinity for hockey.  I know very little about the game, and I constantly try to analyze it as I would basketball or soccer, both of these competitions being more familiar.  my roommate just shakes her head and laughs at me.  I like the pace of it.  and, I like "getting to know the players" (on both the sox and bruins).
I mean, I have to have a "connection". are you kidding?
takes me back to the glory days of razorback basketball in barnhill with nolan.
simply fun.

I share the above paragraph mainly to intro an hour or two I spent this afternoon that made me feel like...well, me.
as a new bruins fan, it is only proper that I own a great t-shirt to show my support, yes?  of course.
I looked online a bit and pondered going to the mall to shop.  then, it dawned on me.  why on earth would I go spend ten to twenty bucks on a shirt when I could go thrifting and find one for two dollars max?  ridiculous.  (I think working in retail has altered my brain a bit, haha.)
so off I went.  I find any thrift store to feel so homey.  a constant in all my travels and places of residence is that every city or town has a goodwill, a nubees, a charity shop.

and today I own a bruins shirt which fits spot on and cost me $1.
oh how quickly I forget. (isaiah 43.1)

may tomorrow find me remembering my name quicker than today.

cheers,
kb.