{via pinterest}

I find myself striving lately to believe the above statement.  I know it to be true.
I claim it.
but sometimes it takes tremendous effort to just...

breathe.

I rush around, in my spirit, even if not in action.  I feel hurried.  and then, when I stop to think about how "busy" I am, I realise the reality of my situation is actually quite unhurried.  

where is it I am figuratively, mentally rushing to and from?  and why?

I definitely have some notions and awareness about the whys.  sure, I do.  I cannot help but get to the bottom of "where does that come from?"to allow me to feel centered.  

I will leave those moments of understanding in my own head, but I will say that I remember in this state of being that love is a choice.  I need to choose to believe what I know to be truth.  

clearly this past couple weeks here in boston have added a heaviness to my heart.
I was meant to have been at the marathon with some friends, who were sitting
10 feet from where one of the bombs went off.
had it not been for a sinus headache,
I would have seen what they saw...
horrific scenes that I will not be vivid about here... delicately put?  a war zone.

then, that friday in the wee hours of the morning, a manhunt began in my city.
a surreal unfolding of events... murder, carjacking, a narrow escape, car chases,
a shootout, a city-wide lockdown, more explosions and gunshots, and finally a citizen's sharp eye leading to a capture.
the parking lot where the police set up their makeshift headquarters is where I got my MA driver's license and at times go to target.  the house on franklin street where suspect #2 was found is within sight of the main road I drive every day on my commute to work.  the front door of one of my bosses' house has bullet holes in it from the shootout.

so, I am giving myself grace in my already challenging task of mentally slowing in light of the events of recent days.

life is moving onward here in boston, and I love this city even more every day.
I truly do.

recently, my enjoyment of "sport" has returned.  now living in a city where pride exudes for so many professional teams, I find myself engaging in the fanfare.
I knew I would become a red sox fan straight away.  no question in my mind.
but it also turns out I am finding I have an affinity for hockey.  I know very little about the game, and I constantly try to analyze it as I would basketball or soccer, both of these competitions being more familiar.  my roommate just shakes her head and laughs at me.  I like the pace of it.  and, I like "getting to know the players" (on both the sox and bruins).
I mean, I have to have a "connection". are you kidding?
takes me back to the glory days of razorback basketball in barnhill with nolan.
simply fun.

I share the above paragraph mainly to intro an hour or two I spent this afternoon that made me feel like...well, me.
as a new bruins fan, it is only proper that I own a great t-shirt to show my support, yes?  of course.
I looked online a bit and pondered going to the mall to shop.  then, it dawned on me.  why on earth would I go spend ten to twenty bucks on a shirt when I could go thrifting and find one for two dollars max?  ridiculous.  (I think working in retail has altered my brain a bit, haha.)
so off I went.  I find any thrift store to feel so homey.  a constant in all my travels and places of residence is that every city or town has a goodwill, a nubees, a charity shop.

and today I own a bruins shirt which fits spot on and cost me $1.
oh how quickly I forget. (isaiah 43.1)

may tomorrow find me remembering my name quicker than today.

cheers,
kb.

In peace I will lie down and sleep,
    for you alone, Lord,
    make me dwell in safety.
                    psalm 4.8.

tonight, I find these words running over and over in my head.  not only for me, as I find it difficult to keep my eyes open due to exhaustion from watching so much footage and sorting through my own emotions of "I was meant to have been there". 

but even more so for the city I now call home and for all my friends who are suffering.  

words fail.

tears fall.

we pray.

kb.

{via colgate club of boston}

wow.  how quickly the day changed today.
sad.

{@jefholm}

{via pinterest}

spring.
the sun is shining.
my living room window is ajar to allow for a breeze to drift inward.
I am wearing a sweatshirt, jeans, and sit barefoot.
the red sox are on telly.
just finished my dunkin' coffee with skim.
my headache from earlier in the day that this season seems to bring often feels better.
spring,
welcome.

this weekend I rearranged my room and cleared out clothes I never wear anymore.
I am deeply influenced by my surroundings.
cluttered space equals cluttered brain, for me.  (just ask anyone who ever entered into my office at tw.)
needed to eliminate some dust and simplify.
felt compelled to make my nest more functional and less fashionable, meaning stacking my books in a way that allows me to grab one off the shelf to actually read and study, not simply look decorative.  because, NEWS FLASH, if they are not easily accessible, I well... do not access them.

so, my life is steadily simplifying in the world of work, bit by bit (not an overnight change), as transition, by definition is a process.
the move from chaotic, staccato to a rhythm that allows for rests...lovely.
the picture of this girl always makes me smile.  I would wear this look everyday and be completely content.  just thought I would share it.

{dailydoseofstuff.tumbler.com}

I love to read.  always have. 

reading is one of those litmus test's in my life, I think.  like writing thank you notes.  

if I am thanking people and reading books, all is closer to as it should be in my spirit.  

stacking my books in a different way yesterday moves me closer to health.  

happy patriots day. 

cheers,

kb.

tomorrow is opening day at fenway.  today we are having some friends over with their kids to begin what their family is calling the 'summer of sox'.  it is time the kids learn the magic of baseball and specifically the love of the red sox.  so, stacey is currently making visual aids (a depth chart that should be laminated and used by john farrell himself in his dugout chats with the team.

just as I was moving from colorado to boston, a friend and I were doing some thrifting, like I do, and what did I happen upon, giving me yet another indication that I was making proper plans for my next move?

so, I am ready for the season.
dandy, I don't know if you still read this from time to time, but what I wouldn't give to still have that worn in sox hat of yours.  though I love this one, there is nothing like a beaten up cap, as we well know.

and with that...

GO SOX!

happy weekend!

kb.