outside...

love lives outside of time.

choosing to love is a decision, I believe, but as many decisions are prompted and encouraged by our feelings, the heart holds hands with the head when we love someone.

my grandfather passed away seventeen years ago.  it seems like less than that in my mind.

in college, I dated a boy for less than 6 months, but in my heart, it felt like 6 years when we broke up.

friendships formed and fostered in a particular setting with shared experience which might last days or weeks only can feel like a kindred spirit found for life.

when a connection is made, 

when intimacy is fostered, 

when memories are shared, 

when care is experienced, 

time does not make sense. 

time is irrelevant. 

in my experience, the best moments of life exist outside of time, when I forget to look at my watch or think of my next appointment. 

love is more than.

 love is our common denominator. 

we all know what it is to have it. 

we all know what it is to lack it.

'tis better to have loved and lost 

than to never have loved at all.

                                                     ~alfred lord tennyson

I agree with mr. tennyson.  

oftentimes I feel like this quote is used in reference to romantic relationship type of love.  

as we all know, loss of love takes many forms.  I feel this quote holds up for any type of love. 

I like to look for common experience as I navigate life amongst and in the midst.    

we all have love in common.

love is a risk.  we all know it is possible that it will be lost.

I will forever believe it is worth it.  

I hope today finds you aware of love in your story.  

may we all keep hope alive that love is present and living.  some days we might have to look a little more diligently to find it, but it is there.  

love lives outside of time... yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

cheers,

kb.

sois doux...

it is not a newsflash that language holds power for me nor is it a surprise, I think, that I love to study and learn.
a few years ago when I found myself feeling particularly antsy about the absence of international influence on my day-to-day, I enrolled in a french class.  my heart soared with joy and trembled a bit with nervousness as I worried about my progress and performance each week.  since those days in class, I have kept this language close even if for my own smile inducing knowledge base when I overhear someone speaking it.
sometimes I translate a phrase I have found significance and support within from english to this lovely other language which holds such a captivating tone.
recently, my days have been a bit more mindful, which has enlivened my spirit and brought a bit more peace.

sois doux.
be gentle.

a statement heard so often from a parent to a child as this little one learns how to utilize his or her fine motor skills.  we even use a gentle tone to direct them to model care, as we remember that they are little and need to learn how to lovingly attend to other people and things.
these words make sense to me in regard to relationship with others.
with myself?
pas toujours.
not always.
I find myself saying often that I believe we are all little ones on the inside.  I believe this statement to be a truth, an encouragement, a connector, a frustration...
mostly as a refreshment.
I wonder what today would be like if we all chose to be a bit more gentle with ourselves,
like we do with little ones without even having to think.
and when we forget to do so, what if we were gentle in our redirection, too?

I read not long ago a quote from my friend, bob, which made an impression.

"whether we want to or not, we memorize what we do repeatedly."  

sois doux avec toi-même.  

be gentle with yourself.

just a few thoughts I had today as I work to finish up my summer semester of grad school.  

two papers left to write and then a month off!  huzzah!  

a few days at the beach to follow for a bit of a holiday. 

the week after, preparations begin to start new work at a job where I get to practice a bit of that french language I love and work to help kids navigate life.  I will certainly need to remember to sois doux avec toi-même as I bumble my way through my attempts to use my elementary skills.  

cheers,
kb.

presence.

today, I had breakfast for lunch at the adorably endearing caffe and wine bar around the corner from my apartment.  it feels like you are sitting at a sidewalk café in europe.
my heart is happy there.
they serve coffee so hot, you have to wait to drink it.  if they bring you milk to put in it, as I always ask for, the milk is heated up.  if you order sparkling water or soda, they ask if you would like them to pour it for you.  they care not how long you sit and eat your food at your leisure.
my heart is happy there.
so, this afternoon, as I sat feeling light, looking at the tree-lined streets of my neighbourhood with eyes that felt clear and sharp like I had just put in a fresh pair of contact lenses, I read a book about emotional agility.  I am taking an elective this summer semester in grad school on mindfulness, essentially the choice to live in the present moment with acceptance and kindness, so I do find myself being more aware of my surroundings than I have in recent months.  I am thankful to be reminded to do something I feel I have an instinctual (both by nature and by excellent mentoring over the years) tendency toward.
perhaps some of this practice is, indeed, seeping into my daily life.

ok, that is a long preface to get to the point of this story.
shocking, I know.  :)

as I finished the last bites of my divine bagel sandwich, a couple walked out of the caffe.
I did a double take and tried not to gawk.
this couple was familiar to me.
I do not know their names, but I certainly knew their faces and had seen them before.

earlier in the week, I tried a new coffee shop a few miles down the road.  I adore coffee shops, and finding the spots where I can take my computer to work on homework, people watch, read a book, or all of the above, is always on the top of my list of favourite things to do, especially when I move to a new neighbourhood as I have done recently.
this coffee shop is in an odd spot attached to an office building, not exactly an easy find.  I drove past it even using my GPS the first time.

as I sat trying to force myself to focus on getting work done, a couple came in and sat next to me.
I remember being a touch annoyed, wondering why they needed to sit so near when there were a  number of empty tables elsewhere that did not seem to invade my space.
quickly my disdain turned to delight as I listened to the two giggle at one another as they spoke.  she brought him a gift of cookies which she gave him nervously.
he giggled and thanked her acknowledging a previous conversation that led her to buy them for him.
I tried not to draw attention to myself or to eavesdrop impolitely.  their interaction was lovely.
they inspired me to write...

a couple sits to my left in a new coffee shop find.
they giggle at each other which exhibits a contagious spirit of all things kind.
at a glance they appear an odd match, if on a date they happen to be,
then again, who am I to decide who should be a "we".
she gave a gift to start.
he shared SNL parodies which certainly are filled with art.
the joy makes my eyes smile,
as I have not observed others in a while.

this SAME COUPLE walked out of my favourite caffe this morning!
the.
SAME.
COUPLE!
I had to suppress my grin and try not to stare.  she held a gift bag which I can only assume was a reciprocation of the gift she had given him earlier in the week.  they were smiling fondly at one another as they chatted on the sidewalk before hugging goodbye.
I couldn't believe it.
I still cannot believe it.
I feel like I have gotten the privilege to witness a bit of their friendship, and it makes my spirit smile.

you never know what you might notice if you
choose.
to.
notice.

happy friday, friends,
kb.

winter? in texas...

seasons are key.
in texas, seasons are sparse. it is 70 degrees in february, and you can walk to lunch from your office.
the walking, I fancy.
the up and down climate...?
well, I believe in
and prefer seasons.

life is filled with uncertainty and chaos, and without some predictable elements, I confess I often feel out of sorts.
this year began with more activity on my calendar, and I am thankful, as these planned events all are filled with people work of various kinds... all moving me toward finding my heartbeat which has felt a bit distant in recent years.
have you ever spent time away from your joy center?
away from the work that exhausts in envigorating ways?
sometimes a break is needed to recharge, refresh, and renew.
sometimes those muscles which were worked so rigorously for so many years feel a bit weak and need to be attended to more mindfully than before when novelty and innocence abounded.

muscle memory.
it is a real thing.
I find myself realising that I have to be patient with myself as I ease back into using instincts and learned skills which are foundational in my spirit. many of these abilities have laid dormant in recent years as I have explored and tried to sort out the next path.
I am working to remember what I do well.
where I thrive.
where I come alive.
where my joy is contagious.

sometimes life and obligations cloud and distract from bigger perspective.
at times people pull me off track and trip me up.
life is a battle.

may this year continue to find me fighting for the joy of making a positive impression on people with whom I have the privilege to do life alongside.

cheers,
kb.