patience...

patient.
kind.
not self-seeking.

just a few words that describe how love for people is meant to be handled.  I do ok with that middle directive.  generally, I have a natural affinity toward kindness, and I believe choosing to be so can literally change relationships in lasting, powerful ways.

now as for the other two "strong suggestions"...
a bit tougher for my spirit.
my childlike insides get wicked greedy on a regular basis.  sweet time spent laughing, playing, sharing life leaves me overwhelmed with glee and thanks.
and then,
in a quite short amount of time, I am sat wanting more and more.  sometimes that desire can even overshadow the sweetness of the aforementioned quality time I recently had been gifted.

oooooh, that frustrates me.  when I let my selfishness steal the joy from the present moment.
ew.
in these moments of overwhelming thoughts of "the world revolves around kym", I am transported back to a time when I lived with a favourite friend called lee.
lee is lovely...smart, beautiful inside and out, people focused, loving, organized, disciplined, hilarious, intentional, giving...
her husband's name is clay.  clay and lee met, dated, and got married during the time I shared a house with lee, and I still feel privileged to have gotten to witness their connection find its shape in those early days.
one day during their early days of finding their rhythm, I asked clay if it was difficult being patient with lee as she sorted what space was allotted for him in her life.
(in the beginning, lee was pretty guarded with her time and with her heart.)
clay, in my mind, personifies peace.
he replied, calmly,
"I consider all the time spent with lee as a gift.  so, as much or as little as I get, I am thankful."
cue deep breath.

patience in the waiting, in the tension of the unknown and the unresolved...
with people in my life,
with violence in the world,
with situations that I think could be so much better with a little prevention and planning...
so challenging.
and, at the same moment, I think
what is the alternative?
emotions like bitterness and frustration with furrowed brows and a closed off heart?

a series studying the book of habakkuk has been timely these past few weeks as eagerness for resolution of tension in life overwhelms us all.

I hope I continue to choose to breathe into the tension today.
when I have chosen the other less joy-filled alternative, I don't even want to hang out with me.
why would others want to?  that makes my goal of connection significantly less reachable.
(I chose that more negative alternative as recently as yesterday.)

may today bring more choice for perspective, breath, and living in the present for us all.

love is a choice.

cheers,
kb.