to write.

I have a friend called sam.
he has taught me lessons in friendship and love of people for which I am truly,
life-changingly
thankful.
some of the lessons I learned from a season living life alongside sam were illumined all the more for me, I am certain in the face of a comparison from friendships past.  for me, at that place in my story, the Lord needed to redeem, heal, and properly define some misconceptions and untruths I held about care without condition.
one summer afternoon, a group of us lounged on the pool deck allowing our weekly taco lunch to digest.  sam sat on my left, legs outstretched, one chuck taylor leisurely crossed over the other.  a guy strolled over sipping coffee out of a mug with a mustache emblazoned with on its side.  he stopped to address sam.
"sam, I didn't know you were a hipster!", this fellow said with inflection, pointedly glancing at my friend's sneakers.  (here it is important to note that sam spent his days working down the mountain in the horse barn wearing quite different attire than at the time of this conversation being recalled.)
sam looked up at this gent and replied, "I'm not.  I'm Sam."
his matter-of-fact tone I will not soon forget.
I smile now as write remembering how he spoke.  without pretension, without a touch of arrogance, without malice or mockery...simply from a place of self-understanding and perspective.

do we ever like to be 'put in a box'?  I certainly do not.
we are living, breathing, growing, changing creatures.  we were created to be so.

I have another friend called kate.
kate possesses a level of authenticity that blesses me deeply.  during the season I lived alongside her, she asked me questions that I am not sure anyone has asked me before or since that time.
she asked me what I was about.  well, she didn't actually ask me outright, but she told me she wondered what I was about and then simply... waited for my reply.
that silence led me to truly examine my heart to answer her honestly.
as she was bold and real with me, she led me into a place of honesty.
she loved me well.
another moment which will live in my story where depth resided and challenge was felt.

raison d'être.  reason to be.
I am of the opinion that we all need to know of what things we are convinced
and to be aware of those things which compel us.

recently, I have been helping out with a local alpha course.
this intentionally created safe place for pondering life is full of people who speak john 1.14 language.  my church in london, htb, is the source of this haven for hashing out one's questions, and though I attended a bit of a training while living in london, my focus on my own ministry kept me from going on the course.
my instinct has proven to be correct.  the approach, the content, the people...
I have quite enjoyed myself.

how impressed I am by people and by the courage it takes for us to be vulnerable.
to be.
tremendous courage.
tremendous.

in my nature, a risk-taking demeanour, I have not.  the list I could make here of friends' names who would attest to this fact is lengthy.  for many years, I have 'played it safe' and have mindfully sidestepped potentially dangerous situations.
I still would stand on my proverbial soapbox and preach that always choosing the risky path is not necessarily the best choice.  yes, I would.
and yet concurrently, in my experience, my personhood, my 'be'ing, has become
more layered
and
lovelier
when time is spent with other 'be'ings who "live life to the full"by
being genuine.
as I am quite impressionable, I strive to lean into those people and places where I recognise authenticity. and I get to choose.
we all get to choose.

oh, that I would choose wisely so as to continue forward motion and that I would mindfully be thankful for those friends who love me so well whether their 'be'ing shares my zip code or resides in a land too far for my liking.

cheers,
kb.