Friday, 5 December 2014

le cinquième de décembre...

je parle un peu français. (I speak a little french.)

so, back in august, I decided to take a french class.
and,
this choice is,
by far,
one of the better decisions I have made in quite some time.
so, each tuesday evening I am sat with a couple others at an international school learning accent, conjugation, and intonation of this lovely, challenging foreign tongue. (some weeks this class finds me being the only student in attendance.)
I.
love.
it.
as you know, part of me will now and forever be international, so my spirit is fed here.
additionally, being a student of people, culture, and words, each bit of information absorbed reminds me of how intricate and interesting is our world and each person within it.

school has always been a favourite place of mine.
would I call myself a nerd? sure.
I have a genuine love for learning, studying, and memorizing.  it is just true.
hence my love for travel, culture, exploring, being trusted to hear people's stories... all feed the inner student within me.
sure, most of this aforementioned list does not have to do with pencil, paper, or notecards, but each without doubt teaches me, shapes my perspective, and enhances my life in ways similar (though much more personally) to my time spent in a classroom over the years.

life affords me loads of human interaction/learning, but it has been some time since I opened a textbook and took active notes while sitting at a desk, looking at a whiteboard.
and, you know what?  I have missed it.
many of you know that I have been thinking of going to grad school for many years.  in fact, my move to boston contained that goal in its sights.  for one reason or another, my re-entering the classroom has not come to fruition in the way I might have hoped.  I, honestly, am not certain when the pieces will fall into place to obtain that advanced degree that I have long seeked.
that being said...
l'apetit vient en mangeant.
(the more you have, the more you want.) 
each class, my french teacher begins by teaching us a french proverb.  as I write about becoming further educated, I find this phrase popping into my head.
I hope this whetting of my appetite for learning, both in books and amongst people, only grows stronger.

time spent living life alongside people ranks highest on my list of things preferred. (full stop)
it just turns out that spending time with my nose in a book enhances and enriches my life immensely, as well.  just another noteworthy reminder of the deep importance for me to
"know my name".

in october, I took a birthday holiday to brooklyn and boston.  colour of autumn leaves and footsteps on cobblestone street paths abounded.
how do I sum it up?  almost impossible.
I will simply say that I breathed deep that week.
I walked and walked and walked.  goodness, I miss walking and not having to drive. 
I reconnected with lovely friends.
the time there was absolutely cathartic to my spirit.

upon my return from new england, I find myself feeling a bit more present in dallas these days.
thankful for peace.

I have spoken many times about the "tension" in my life...a lesson learned while living in a colorado mountain town.
the full on realization that struggle and joy co-exist. 
that feeling of...
being entirely sure I am where I am meant to be
and
feeling that I do not love the location/situation fully where I am found.
the brow-furrowing moments of...
"why exactly did I need to move?"
mixed in with the thoughts of
"this moment finds me feeling completely joyful and healthier than I have been in awhile." 
when I am convinced that...
"my gifting/who I am is celebrated in this space and amongst these people."
alongside the thought of
"oftentimes, I feel like an alien here." 

more moments exist  on the positive/hopeful side of that tension as of late.
thankful.
life never ceases to surprise...
correction: 
He never ceases to surprise me...
in loving sorts of ways.
in "I know you because I made you" ways.
in fun, laughter-filled ways.
in sweet, gentle ways.
thankful.

this morning, I found myself in a conversation about how comfortable it is to be a believer in and a follower of Jesus.
"EVERYTHING about having faith is uncomfortable!,"
said my friend with a voice teeming with passion.
now,
I am not, in my nature, one who debates.
but, hearing a statement made with such feeling of absolute, prompts me to provide my personal perspective.
I replied in an intentionally even tone that as a believer, not EVERYTHING about my life is uncomfortable.
at times? absolutely.
everything?  absolutely not.
the conversation continued on amiably, our friendship remaining very much intact.  :)


perhaps, he did not mean this remark as literally as I heard it.  
it is possible, I am a bit sensitive to tone, inflection, and volume.  
yes, it is possible.
equally plausible is the fact that "combatting" this definitive statement and speaking the truth I have experienced spoke to my spirit in a way that moved me to a place of perspective.  


I will simply say here that I am thankful today for
joy,
peace,
laughter,
home,
promise.

"...I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. 
I know what I’m doing. 
I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, 
not abandon you, 
plans to give you the future you hope for.'"
(Jeremiah 29:11)

happy december.
bonne week-end.


cheers,
kb.

No comments:

Post a Comment