tension |ˈten sh ən|

noun

1 the state of being stretched tight : the parachute keeps the cable under tension as it drops.

• the state of having the muscles stretched tight, esp. as causing strain or discomfort : the elimination of neck tension can relieve headaches.

• a strained state or condition resulting from forces acting in opposition to each other.

• the degree of tightness of stitches in knitting and machine sewing.

• electromotive force.

2 mental or emotional strain : a mind that is affected by stress or tension cannot think as clearly.

• a strained political or social state or relationship : the coup followed months of tension between the military and the government | racial tensions.

• a relationship between ideas or qualities with conflicting demands or implications : the basic tension between freedom and control.

verb [ trans. ]

apply a force to (something) that tends to stretch it.

my word, I love the dictionary.  a dear friend and I were contemplating life over chips and salsa that other night.  she used the above word to describe some of the feelings I was expressing.  

when I got home, I looked it up.  and, once again, webster helped provide perspective.  

life in progress seems to always have at least a bit of tension.  

for such a time as this, I am in colorado.  when the next leading becomes illuminated, I will go.  

the desire to move, to see more, to experience anew never ceases.  

the co-existing of these afore mentioned assurances holds this conflict.  

allowing the intermingling feelings of enjoying certain things and being incredibly frustrated by other things is a humbling, muscle tightening, intense journey, but I believe it to be important.  

to let go.  

to allow for unfolding.  

to feel the fullness, and to acknowledge my attempts to control are futile.  

as ever, the anchor is trust.  

kb.

what made me laugh and shake my over-thinking today...
Peter Rollins interview with Rob Bell

of course, the Irish accent helps delight my soul, if I am honest.
also, I like his thoughts and musings...makes me contemplate, laugh, and enter into introspection which enlivens me rather than exhausts.

oh how I love to discuss...
thankful for those who share this love of discovering the depth of the Love.

breathe, kym.  exist in the midst of the tension...  where tension lies, strength may develop.

People energize me.  They also exhaust me, at times, but this week, I have been energized.  

As the calendar turns to March, I find myself on the downward slope to summer.  Preparations are being made, and I look so forward to welcoming back dozens of people who will help staff our camp full of families for a crazy three months.  

Weeks like this past one remind me why doing YL in Arkansas and London suited me so well.  I love people with all their depth, silliness, care, intentionality, affirmation, and conversation.  I laughed a lot this past week.  I got to listen.  I got to observe.  I remembered.  I got to help people.  

I am thankful.  

With these influxes of new and old friends, I find myself being cared for and asked to tell bits of my story.  A common question is always, "How long do you think you will be here?".  I find that question interesting, as truly almost every person who inquires about me to any depth brings up this point.  

I know not the answer.  My response is most often that I have seen no other leading today, so I am here for now.  

I do feel a bit more settled here.  I feel I have let go of many things even in the past few weeks that allow me to feel less stubborn and frustrated in regard to those unanswered questions that still reside in my day-to-day.  The question marks have not departed, but I do feel a deeper freedom, if that makes any sense at all.  

Being thankful for moments is my challenge and hope for today and the days in the near future.  Living in the present, in the facts, in the reality of True leading and not in my own plan or prediction.  

kb.