A bit melancholy, as I will miss my friends who have lived life alongside me these last few months. I am equally eager for what awaits in the autumn months that lie ahead. Some have departed. A few more leave tomorrow. A handful will stay on for another week or so to help out and simply play without camp business interrupting life.
As for me, I will be here. A bit odd to be staying as all the rest go here and there. I sit in my room this evening looking back over my day. I began the morning with my last visit to my fave bfast haunt with my "regulars". I finished up a bit of work on the ropes course with my phenomenally helpful friend, Grace, who has dominated said course for me over the summer. Then, Luce and I nipped out for a quick coffee at my clear favourite coffee shop in BV, which happens to be quite literally just beyond my back garden. And the rest of this lovely 70 degree, Simpson-clouded day found me sitting me in my room watching a show that inspires me to live my dreams.
I find that watching people use their giftedness to their fullest extent never ceases to inspire my creativity and giftedness. On my own, creativity seems to elude me in great quantity, but when I am blessed by being brushed by others using their talents, I feel awakened. Lovely. Full of thanksgiving, I become.
So, now that my hectic summer has closed, I am sat contemplating what the autumn will hold. When I ran into my friend, Mack, today, he said something to the effect of being able to just breathe deeper today. With a smiling presence, I agreed wholeheartedly. I feel the same. With this breath...well, I am decided that I will write. This book I have mentioned for such a long time will be worked on in a much more diligent focus.
Interestingly enough, one of my TW family, Anthony, told me earlier in the summer that he thinks I should write a book. I just chuckled. He looked at me a bit perplexed and asked why such a response. I told him that doing so has been a goal of mine for quite some time, and I had one in the works already.
I feel as though now may be the time. So, I boldly post here that I will set this goal for myself...to make progress on my book this autumn. Perhaps by the new year, I will have it complete.
Feel free to ask me when we speak how I am progressing. I give you license to do so.
My hope with my book, I believe, is to further process my journey of life, to by telling my stories, hopefully, empower/enliven the ones who might read it, and to simply enjoy putting pen to paper while playing with vocabulary and language. For so many years, the Lord has used writing and wordplay to love on me. From chronicling in my journals, to listening to hip-hop, to chatting with people with whom I tend to give sit down and get cozy answers rather one word responses...language loves on me. Not a coincidence that He is the Word, I think.
My other hope in writing is that I can do so without worry of what others might think or what opinions might surface...that I would write with a sort of detachment from anything other than what I want to communicate and express.
"and if out of this turning inward, out of this absorption into your own world, verses come, then it will not occur to you to ask anyone whether they are good verses." ~Rilke.
As autumn begins, I surround myself with all things that soothe aesthetically. My soul smiles.
I can see the words flowing when my nest feels safe, cozy, and centered. Thanks be to God for knowing more than I...for an intensely relational summer full of newness, laughter, connection, hurt, healing, perspective, and insight which all led to intense moments of Love.
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