more than.

theeverygirl.com

sometimes noteworthy people appear in your life when you least expect it.  I suppose most of the time those who truly surprise me, well...surprise me with their "showing up".  

in recent days, I often find myself looking down or just in front of me, at a book, at a computer screen, at a person sitting across from me asking me a question, rather than looking up to observe, to take in my surroundings.  

when I do look up, I find they are ever filled with potential... 

connections.

opportunities.

spaces to grow.

fun.

encouragement.

depth.

ease...

oftentimes my fear and anxiousness about the unknown stops me short of seeing or stepping near possibility or prospects, but recently, 

I looked up.

I reached out.

I leaned in.

it was a good choice.

living life to the full for me seems to consistently compel me toward "letting go a bit and letting my hair down", as someone recently told me.  it is certainly a process, as years of conscientiousness pervades my default mode.  

I love surprises.  

and surprises make me nervous.  

in my experience, anxiousness never fully goes away.  to be honest, I would not want it to do so, as it feels like my friend and familiar companion since I was very young.  

the key for me, I have found, is to not give it the power to lead.

it can be present, as it is useful and beneficial to have in my back pocket, but I aspire (and recently have felt a few more victories) to keep its stubborn grip off my spirit, to keep it from dictating what I will and will not do in my daily life.  

I feel like joy can activate jealousy.  from others, but even more often from within myself, in a weird way.  when lightness, silly, and spontaneous laughter begin to creep into my heart, it feels at times like a thief who is determined to squash that glee out of spite appears, especially when joy might have been kept at bay for awhile.  

it is as if a battle is on 

to silence the good.

today I am thankful for strength to stay in the battle, 

determined to fight for the good, 

choosing to be in the 

vulnerable, 

awkward, 

connected, 

challenged, 

refreshing, 

honest, 

seen 

space of joy.  

I am thankful for potential in others and in myself...

in our abilities as humans to grow, learn, and develop new philosophies, theologies, and strategies.

in our instinctual compulsions to connect, to smile, to ask questions, to care, to seek depth, and to play.

bob goff.

happy sunday.

kb.